


Gait

by Kafi



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Drama, F/M, Friendship, Reader-Insert, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Sexual Content, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-23
Updated: 2014-06-01
Packaged: 2018-01-26 05:44:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1676903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kafi/pseuds/Kafi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trost gave you the opportunity to escape that dank old strip club. Erwin gave you the opportunity to join the Survey Corps. Petra gave you the opportunity to make friends. Will Levi give you the opportunity to make amends? </p><p>Levi/Darkskinned!Reader</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_”Wake up.”_

You grumbled.

 

_”[Stage Name], it’s the start of your shift. Get the hell up!”_

You switched sleeping positions, wrinkling your makeshift mattress in the process.

 

**_”You ungrateful bitch! Get up!”_ **

You hissed in pain, the hot sting of a slap coating your cheek. It got you up though- your eyes snapped open instantly. Shaken, you shrunk back, wrapping the comforter you slept on tight around your naked frame in the process.

 

 _“Don’t make me remind you of how much you owe me, [Stage Name]. I saved you from a terrible life as a prostitute with my own money. Now it's time for you to pay me back.."_  
  
His voice trailed off as you stopped listening. This happened nearly every day. The owner-  _him_ \- would take you down behind stage and prepare you for your performance. You were neutral about dancing at a strip club by now; it's what you do, the only thing you can do besides serve. It only upsets you when you're forced, and as such, you'd been upset for the past couple of weeks.   
  
Never mind that, though. You tucked your deeper thoughts away as you were dragged out of your comfort zone.  
  


\-----

  
The main room was dimly lit. Candles were the main source of illumination, placed on tables and lining the stage. The air was thick and heavy, weighted with the scent of alcohol and sex.   
  
You were on stage, dancing against the bars of a cage. Your outfit was near nothing- a few short, tight loincloths and some leather 4-inches. Lips stained [f/c] to match your [e/c] eyes. Of course, due to your "abnormal" skin tone,  _he_  forced you into the part of the wild animal. Didn't matter all too much, soon you lost yourself in the dance. Thinking could wait.  
  
The sultry music picked up the beat as you "escaped" from the cage. All eyes were on you as you strut off stage. You could tell they were watching your hips, per usual. The tapping of your heels on hardwood matched the beat of the music as you sashayed over to your first lap dance of the night.  
  
He was a soldier- Military Police by the looks of it- not surprising, considering most of the people who stop by are from the military. As true for most military patrons, he was quite rough with you. It didn't bother you either, you'd gotten used to it. Once satisfied with your work, the bulge in his pants prompted you to move along to your next victim. You savored the pleading look in his eyes as you left.  
  
A man from the Garrison caught your eye this time. He looked scared, feeble, submissive. You smirked as you came over and started grinding him hard on your lap.  
  
Midway through your risqué little show, there was a shockingly loud rumble. It shook everything- tables, candles, drinks. At first you shrugged it off and continued the dance, but it was short lived.  
  
The music stopped. The dancing stopped. The sexual fervor dissipated. The air seemed to be sucked from the room.  
  
A soldier, from the Garrison it seemed, slammed the door wide open.  
  
Everyone turned to the wide-eyed man to hear him say that wretched phrase.  
  


 

## "Th-The colossal titan! W-Wall Rose has been breached!"

  
  
And everyone commenced flipping their shit.  
  
  


**\-----**

  
  
Mass hysteria could be heard from your room. Screams of the living mixed with the shrieks of the dying and the thundering steps of titans, creating a haunting ambience.  
  
You were on stuffing your rucksack with books you've collected. They wouldn't all fit, so you ended up ditching the rest and leaving through the club's back exit. On your way out, you swiped a cloak to cover your skimpy outfit.  
  
The alleyways were dotted with dead bodies- civilians and soldiers alike. Your gag was held back. There was no time to take it all in. From what you'd heard moments earlier, the titans could be on you at any minute. All it took was one straggling human running past you for you to sprint in the same direction: the wrong direction.  
  
It was only after the man launched himself up with his 3DMG when you took notice. He was a part of the military, damn it.  You cursed silently, before taking off in another direction. Thank god you were in stilettos; it was easier for you to run in heels.  
  
The mess of backstreets and alleys made you hopelessly confused. You had no idea where to go, the streets were empty save for the dead and injured, and every now and then you'd see a 7 meter or a 15 meter peeking over a house. The only choice was to take off down random streets, leaving the tapping of heels and the fluttering of your cloak in your wake.  
  
  


**\-----**

  
  
Your legs were sore from running for so long. You'd hit  _4_ dead ends in the past 20 minutes, and you were now at your 5th. Doom was certain. A 5 meter was coming your way. There was nothing you could do but collapse at the the dead body of a female soldier and admire the clouded sky above.  
  
What few happy memories you had seemed to form a montage in your head. You basically accomplished nothing your entire life. Didn't matter much, no one knew your name and no one would remember you after you were eaten. Well, maybe the soldiers you seduced would. But that's only because you seduced them.   
  
 _'Wait, how long have I been alive down here?'_  
  
Far too long.  
  
The titan stood over you, searching for something. It couldn't have been you; you're right in front of him. After a good 5 gut-wrenching minutes, it turned tail in search of other prey.   
  
Your mind was racing.  
  
 _'Did it think I was dead? No, no no no.. My chest has been rising and falling like crazy. What was it looking for? Why wasn't I eaten? Did it not see me? Does it not want to eat me? Will I actually get out of here alive? How? The only way fast enough would be-'_  
  
  
Your gaze snapped to the deceased female below you. It had to be done, no matter how gross it was. Two fingers, your index and middle ones, pressed against your lips. You placed those ones on the soldier's forehead. They lingered for a moment as you murmured an apology.   
  
"I'm sorry.. You know I have to do this.. Please don't come back as a ghost or anything to haunt me.. I need to survive.. I'm so sorry.."  
  
As soon as you moved your fingers, she was being stripped of her clothing and gear. All of it but her underwear.   
  


 

**\-----**

****  
  
Everything ached. You were reckless and rusty, flying through the air with the use of stolen gear. The first time you landed, to get your bearings straightened out, you lost balance and face-planted. Combat boots weren't exactly the easiest things for you to get around in. Especially on slippery roof tiles drizzled with rain.  
  
Not only that, but putting on that cadet's cloak seemed to put a target on your back. Every titan that managed to get a whiff of you seemed to come after you.  When you landed to face off with one of them, you pulled wrong trigger, causing your blades to slide off the roof and clatter to the ground below.   
  
  
The titan raised its right hand.  
  
  
You screamed bloody murder and took off before it had the chance to grab you. It didn't help your case- you were almost out of gas and more of the bloodthirsty monsters went after you. The abnormally loud roar of one of them didn't help matters much, either.   
  
 **"WHY THE _HELL_  DON'T THESE GODDAMN  _THINGS_  HAVE FUCKIN'  _INSTRUCTION_  MANUALS?!?!?!"**  
  
You proceeded to spend the next several hours or so aimlessly flying around, avoiding titans, and taking gas from the deceased (and uneaten) soldiers.  
  


##### (A/N: Hopefully you can imagine what a scared, confused, blundering mess you are right now without me describing it all owu~* )

  
  


**\-----**

  
  
Rest. All you wanted was rest. You'd gotten more reckless the more time it took. Part of you wished you'd died when you were cornered.   
  
At least in the time you were wandering around, you found a dead Survey Corps soldier and switched jackets and cloaks with them. Going up a rank couldn't be all too bad, you'd figured.   
  
Along with that, you'd killed your first titan on accident. Soaring around sharp corners blindly with your blades out does wonders, it seems. Based on this, it was only logical for you to decide to take another sharp curve.  
  
You latched onto some sort of tower, and launched towards it at a high speed.  _'Let's kick it up a notch.. I must be pretty good at this, I've been at it for hours..'_  
  
A smug smile crept onto your face as you sped up. There were two things you weren't counting on however; 1) there was a person right around that corner, cleaning off their blades, and 2) you were about to run out of gas.  
  
  
Just as you rounded the bend, that smirk practically melted off your face.  
  


## "Hey! WATCH OU-"

  
Bam. Your wire lost its grip, and you were launched across the roof and into a certain Lance Corporal, bowling him over in the process.  
  
Your bruised, beaten, bloody body bounced like a rag doll across the clay shingles of the roof. It lingered at the edge of the building, threatening to slip off. Just as Levi turned to look at whatever just slammed into him, your body took a dive.  
  
A 7 story dive, that is. Water not included.  
  
  


**\------------**

**~'~,*,~'~**

**\------------**

****  
  
Everything was a blur. Several voices smudged and blended with the sound of your breathing. Your head and back throbbed with agony. A groan was heard. Or was it a whimper? Whatever it was, it sounded pitiful. Was it yours?  
  
You tried to open your eyes. The brightness in the room made you squint. Blurred figures became slightly less blurry.   
There were 2.. no.. 3 people in the room.  
  
 _'One tall blond.. man? Yes, definitely.. Short black haired girl.. guy? Could guys be that short? A short to-be-determined.. And a brown haired lady.. What's she doing with that syringe? Oh no..'_  
  
You clutched the sheets of the bed you were in, struggling to lift your head. As you went to get up, you were pushed back.  
  
There was a sharp, pinching pain in your left arm, and then everything faded to black again.  
  


\-----

  
You began to stir again. In contrast, it was quiet. The only noise you heard was your own labored breathing.  
  
Thankfully, the room was dim this time. You blinked yourself awake to examine your new surroundings.  
  
It certainly wasn't Trost. The room itself was small, but spacious. Your bed was tucked along the wall, and the window to your left let the soft hues of sunset shine in. The door was across the room from it. Beside your bed, placed under the window was a nightstand with your (stolen) clothing on it, a couple unlit candles, and your heels. The rucksack was leaned haphazardly against the stand. Someone must've gone though it.   
  
After absorbing the details in the room, you looked yourself over.  You were chained to the nightstand by your left arm. Your right leg was splinted, and your abdomen and chest were bound. There were dozens of smaller bandages for deep cuts all over your body. Your forehead was wrapped  up in bandages as well. You were a wreck.  
  
You sat there for a bit of time, just enjoying the fact that you were alive. Living was always something to appreciate. The position you were laying in was not.   
  
When you'd gained a bit of strength, you tugged on the handcuffs that bound you. The nightstand jumped and made a surprisingly loud noise. It startled you a bit, so you glanced around anxiously before trying it again.  
  
Thud.  
 **Thud!  
**

###  **Thunk!**

  
You were yanking on it multiple times. With each successive wrench, you tugged a bit harder. On your fourth try, your arm was caught by a calloused, pale, quick hand.  
  
" **Don't.** " A cold voice threatened. You'd figured the owner of the voice was the owner of the hand. "Don't make any more noise, brat."  
  
You stifled a squeal and glared into the dark corner at the other side of the window. Just to spite the man, you tore your hand from his grasp and heaved as hard as you could on the chain.  
  


## THUD!

  
The nightstand tipped over on its side, sending the things previously perched upon it hurtling to the ground: presumably at his feet. You unhooked the other cuff from the foot of the nightstand, freeing yourself.   
  
"Tch."  
  
The figure stepped forward, avoiding the mess. He was short in stature, just barely bigger than you. His hair was parted on his right, and his eyes were steel blue and half lidded. His lips were pursed, forming a thin straight line. Not too excessively, though. Just enough so that you could see he wasn't happy.  
  
There was a nasty bruise on his cheek, and he had some smaller scrapes on his temple. His clothing matched the usual military ones, except he donned the Survey Corps' symbol. The wing-things.  _'Whatever the hell it's called,'_  you thought. Your head was drawing a blank. Also, he had a scarf thing. Cravat, was it?  _'Fancy.'_  
  
You rolled over, facing the wall, to suppress a giggle.  _'He kind of looks like an angry kitten.. He's so small!'_  The laughter got harder to hide, and you ended up having a coughing fit when it agitated your injuries enough.  
  
"What's so funny?" His tone was pointed, serious.  
  
You decided not to respond. Moments later he asked again.  
  
" _What's_  so  _funny, brat?"_  
  
You didn't know what to say. The sound of your breathing took over the room for the next few moments.  
  
Levi had enough. Her grabbed your chain and tugged hard, forcing you to roll over and look at him. Your cheeks heated up when you realized how close your faces were. An icy shiver equal in strength shot down your spine. His expression barely changed. If anything, he seemed more annoyed.   
  
His volume was menacing, just above a whisper.  
"Answer me."  
  
Your blush got worse and your jaw relaxed a little bit, causing your lips to part. You willed yourself to say something. All that came out was, "Ahn.."  
  
His stare harden even more. You didn't figure it was possible. You finally blurted it out.  
  
  


##### "You look like an angry kitten!"

  
  
Immediately you tensed up, putting your hands over your head and curling to defend yourself if he were to hit you. The hit never came, only another person..or two persons, rather.  
  
The blond and the girl came in, interrupting the ordeal. Their eyes darted from you and kitten-boy to the nightstand and back again. The brown-haired one spoke, smirk spread across her face.  
  
"Commander, do you think we're interrupting something?"


	2. Chapter 2

“So, let me get this straight..”

 

Commander blond guy, Erwin, was it? Yeah.. Well, he was sitting at your bedside asking you questions. They were on the stranger side, but you answered as best as you could.

 

“... you’d only used our mobile gear a couple times before Trost, and you managed to survive for around 4 hours without being eaten?”

 

His gaze hardened and glazed over; he was thinking. It just so happened that he used his thinking face while staring right at you. Eye contact wasn’t your thing, so you avoided his.

 

Lance Corporal Anger-kitten, Levi, and Squad Leader Hands-on, Hanji, were seated at the other side of the room. Hanji was shooting sly looks at him, and he was, in turn, ignoring her.

 

Your sights lingered on him until he made eye-contact. They stayed put a millisecond too long before pulling away. Since the room was getting dark, you didn’t have to worry about your cheeks getting seen. One of the few perks of being chocolate-skinned.

 

When You were certain you didn’t feel Levi’s eyes on you, you glanced back at him and Hanji, mostly him though. He must’ve been a veteran; only a hand full of soldiers had that distanced look about them.  _‘It’s kind of hot on him, though. Shortie got style, I’ll give him that..’_ It was your turn for your eyes to glaze over.

 

 

“Oi, brat. Answer the man instead of staring at me like that. Pervert.” Hanji gave you a thumbs up. What little light there was refracted off her glasses.

 

You blinked yourself back into reality and turned your attention toward Erwin once more.

 

“I’m sorry- I wasn’t- You asked a question?”

 

You started to play with your fingers, bending them in all different directions. The Corporal let out a another, “Tch” before getting up and leaving the room. Hanji followed suit, probably to bother him. Haven’t spoken to her once and you two already had something in common.

 

“Several. What is your na-”

 

You responded with your default answer just a little bit too quickly.

 

“Whatever you want it to be.”

 

“I want your name to be your birth name.”

 

‘Of course,’ you thought. ‘Why do I need my real name now of all times?’

 

Silence took over the room until you finally blurted it out.

 

“I don’t remember my real name. I mean I do, but, not right now I don’t. Can I get back to you on that later?”

_‘Mother of Maria, I need to stop-’_

 

“Why? Is it your head injury?”

 

“No, no. I’m fine. I haven’t used my real name since I was.. 10? 11?”

 

_‘-stop talking! I’m giving out-’_

 

“So you changed names-”

 

“No. I get named. That’s how it  _works_ -”

 

_‘-out WAAAY too much-’_

 

“Named by who? How what works? Why did you let-”

 

“I didn’t  _let_  them, they  _bought_  me and named me. Don’t you know how the trade works?”

 

_‘-information..’_

 

 

You slapped your hands over your mouth. Thanks to your knack at flappin’ your gums, you managed to give out information that you planned to keep for months in under 1 minute. Smooth.

 

“The trade? The slave trade? You’re a sex slave?”

 

Sweat was forming on your palms. Shivers racked your body. There was nothing you could do now but fess up everything. The stress, the anxiety, it was starting to make you feel sick. But hey, if you got sent back to work in the clubs, at least you could get more books, right?

 

“Y-yes.. and no..” Your voice was meek;you stared at your lap. “Let me explain..”

 

He nodded and leaned in, listening intently.

 

“I was kidnapped when I was five. The kidnappers took my mother and father, too. They sold me off, but kept my parents. If I remember correctly, he wanted to ‘breed’ them, to sell my brothers and sisters off for spare cash. My parents, they were darker skinned, like me.”

 

You paused to lick your lips. In contrast to your palms, they were dry.

 

“My first set of owners, they were wealthy. I was a maid in their household; they lived within wall Sina. I used to clean their silver, scrub their floors, and serve snacks when they had company. They didn’t trust me with the china or glasses. They told me I’d go rabid one day and break something. They also beat me if I didn’t do my job good enough.”

 

“Well enough,” He corrected.

 

“-well enough, thanks. Sorry, I was never taught proper grammar, or how to read..” You trailed off, before finding your voice again a few seconds later.

 

“When I was about 11 or so, I was sold again. To the owner of a strip club down in Shiganshina. It was terrible. They taught- forced me to dance and sing for them. If I didn’t comply or started to lash out, I’d lose one nights sleep and 2 days of food and water. If that wasn’t enough, I’d get the hood.”

 

“The hood?”

 

“The hood.”

 

“What’s the hood?”

 

“A hood.”

 

 

Erwin cleared his throat, waiting for a proper, non-sassy response.

 

“A mask, makes it so you can’t see nothin-”

 

“Anything,” He corrected once more.

 

“-anything. Then they’d whip me ‘til I was begging to learn to strip. Think: breaking in a wild horse.”

 

A thump was heard from outside the door. Commander Thick-brows, Erwin, got up to see if anyone was there. When glancing down and to the right he found Levi with the back of his head pressed against the wall. He was pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand and giving a signal that said ‘Go back in’ with another.

 

**Levi was listening to _everything_  through the wall.**

 

The Commander nodded and covered for him,

 

“Cadet! Stop Screwing around in the infirmary.”

 

He returned to his seat and apologized.

 

“I was 15 when the breach in the wall happened. Since the club I lived at was closer to the gate, I didn’t see too many titans. I looted homes for books, quills, ink, and paper so I could learn how to read and write.”

 

You motioned to your rucksack, flopped over next to the overturned nightstand.

 

“Only after I learned to write all the symbols, did I realize that I needed another person to teach me the sounds- to teach me to read. I’ve settled with mimicking the symbo-”

 

“Letters. They’re called letters.”

 

“Ah, okay. Letters. Anyway, I was captured and sold again to another strip club. It was a blessing, really. At least I got fed. That owner was a bit more lenient with me, and I finally got fed better meals. Punishments never got taken away, though.”

 

Another coughing fit found it’s way into you. Your mouth was dry from all the talking.

 

“Basically, I seduced the guests from the military into getting me what I wanted, a set of 3DMG, and my own horse. That’s how I learned some of the basics. A couple years later, aka yesterday, the second breach occurred.”

 

  
Another ‘Thump!’ was heard from the hallway. Erwin cleared his throat to get your attention back.

 

“So you wanted to join the military?”

 

You nodded.

 

“Part of me would rather die than be forced to strip for pigs. Turns out dying isn’t that easy.”

 

“How do you mean?”

 

“The titans didn’t notice I was there until I stole the uniform.”

 

“Hmm.. That’s enough questioning for today. Thank you. Have a nice night.”

 

Commander bushy-brows stood from his chair at your bedside, turned on his heel, and exited the room. You curled up under the bedsheets, and fell asleep.

 

**\-----**

 

Erwin closed the door, sat in his seat, and turned to Levi. They were in his office. Before giving the Commander a chance to ask the question, he answered it.

 

“No. Not on my squad.”

 

“You don’t have a choice.”

 

“Tch.”

 

“She’s got potential. The only things she needs are basic training and a tutor.”

 

“That’s what the 3-year training program is for.”

 

“You and I both know she wouldn’t do well there.”

 

“Fine. I’ll take the stupid brat.”

 

“Yes, you will. Have Petra and Armin be her tutors; she’ll be rooming with Petra. You and Eren will help her train.”

 

“I don’t have the time-”

 

“Your paperwork will be.. taken care of. Dismissed.”

 

**\-----**

 

The next couple of days you were kept in the infirmary. Levi, Hanji, Petra, and this boy, Armin, took turns sitting with you and bringing your meals.

 

You were more talkative around Petra and Levi, Levi more so. Whenever it was his shift, you’d always get a little excited. You asked him a lot of things.. Surprisingly he didn’t seem to mind too much.

 

“Levi-”

 

“Lance Corporal or Captain to you.”

 

“Lance Corporal, how many titans have you killed?”

 

“Enough.”

 

“How much is enough?”

 

“Enough to survive.”

 

“Ah.. Well, I’ve only killed one.”

 

“Pathetic.”

 

“It was an accidental kill, though.. Haha! Armin told me that you’ve got the skills to equate to 100 soldiers, so you must’ve killed many.”

 

“Hmm..”

 

You took a sip of your tea.

 

“Why are you always frowning like that?”

 

“This is how my face looks.”

 

“I don’t believe you.”

 

“Not my problem.”

 

“Ouch, cold. Well, when I think about it.. Did your face get stuck like that?”

 

“Stuck?”

 

He took a sip of his tea.

 

“You’ve probably frowned like that for so long that your face got stuck. It’s okay, though. The angry kitten look suits you.”

 

He glared at you.

 

“Sorry, sorry.. I  _guess_  you look more like you’re stoned..”

 

“No more talking. Eat. Stupid brat..”

 

You ate your meal in silence, a bit unnerved by the way he was staring at you. When you finished, he took your plate and cup, then left.

 

**\-----**

 

The day had finally come; you were leaving the infirmary. Since you had not yet been informed about your current living situation, you assumed that you would be leaving.

 

The Commander and Corporal Short-stuff came into your room, finding you packing your books into your rucksack. You had vigorously apologized, and hopped to your feet. The heels you slipped on earlier gave you a good 2 inches over Levi.

 

“That’s not the proper uniform, cadet.”

 

“Uniform? I thought I was leaving..”

 

“Oi, Commander, don’t tell me you didn’t tell her-”

 

“It.” You corrected.

 

You got an icy stare from Captain Frowny-face. “You’re a ‘she’, not an ‘it.’”

 

“No, no. I’m pretty sure I’m an ‘it.’”

 

“She.”

 

“It. I’ve been an 'it' my entire life.”

 

“Tch. Now you’re a she, and you’re in my squad.”

 

“Wait, what?”

 

“You’ll be rooming with Petra for now.”

 

It was the commander’s turn to speak.

 

“Here. Try them on when we get to your room.” He handed you a pile of clothing.”

  
They both left, motioning for you to follow.

 

**\-----**

 

 

The weight of the situation started to sink in on the way to the room. You didn’t have to strip anymore. You could do something with you life. You could be the baddest bitch, zooming through the air and slicing shit up real sicknasty.

 

Your gait went from a confused saunter to a confident strut. Before you realized what you were doing, were flouncing around behind the two higher-ups. Your hands found your hips, and a bright, genuine smile found your face.

 

The tapping of your shoes on the castle’s wooden floor must have give you away, because they both turned to look back at you. You had no time to change your stride, so you stared right back.

 

A blush, barely visible, crept across Erwin’s cheeks. Levi’s eyes softened up immensely. Both of them looked you over quickly, but you could tell they ogled at your hips.

 

The whole sexy shebang was over quickly, because they stopped abruptly and you ended up bumping into Levi and bowling him over..  
  
 _..again._


	3. Chapter 3

“I’m sorry!”  
  
You got up instantly and helped Levi back on his feet. On impulse, you started brushing off his clothes. He was more toned than you thought he’d be; his muscles tensed with your touch. When you caught his eye once more, you pulled away, embarrassed.  
  
“I’m really super sorry! Are you alright?”  
  
“Watch where you’re going, cadet.” He scoffed, brushing off his clothes. “You’ll be staying here. Breakfast at 7AM, lunch at noon, dinner at 6PM in the dining hall. Room checks are every Wednesday at 6:30 AM; it better be spotless. Training starts at 8AM- meet me at my office. Right after lunch you’ll have tutoring sessions, one with Armin and one with Petra. Curfew is at 10PM.”  
  
“Uhm.. Do I get a tou-”  
  
“Ask Petra.”  
  
“Rude..”  
  
He slammed a pair of keys into your hand, turned, and left with Erwin. You couldn’t help but chuckle at their height difference. You shook your head as you entered your room.  
  
  


**\-----**

 

  
Hips.  
  
You hate your hips.  
  
Hate isn’t even a good enough word to describe your feelings toward them. You loathe them, despise them.  
  
Petra wasn’t in the room, so you had tried to make yourself at home- not that you knew what a real home was. Your books lined the bookshelf and your heels were placed next to the door. You took a moment to take a quick, hot shower. After you finished, the clothes you’d received were begging to be worn, so you opted to try them on.  
  
First were the pants. You cautiously slipped them up to your thighs. At the home stretch, they were stopped. Your ass was too big, and your hips were too wide.  _'Hmm.. They must not count on thicker girls joining the Corps..'_  
  
Refusing to accept defeat, you’d tried everything. Jumping, shimmy-ing, twisting- they would not go up any further. You tossed them on your bed and readied yourself for battle with the shirt.  
  
Defeat was imminent and unavoidable. The blouse was next on your list.You slipped on the sleeves, and the sides of the shirt were no where near being close enough to button. You hated your bust now, too.  
  
With an exasperated sigh you tossed the shirt on top of the pants.  _'What the hell am I gonna wear now? I can't go out in this, and I have no idea where the commander's office is.. I guess I'll try and stretch it..'_  
  
You picked up the jeans once more and struggled, hard. You had been using the jumping method, and as effective as it could be, it caused you to trip yourself. One of the pant legs caught your foot and you fell backwards onto the floor. Instead of giving up, you tried tugging them on from that position.  
  
They were almost there. You sucked in, flailed your legs in the air and tugged like hell.  
  
It was then that Petra decided to arrive.  
  
  
She gasped at the sight. Your hair was a mess, you had nothing on but a bra and panties, and you were grunting and rolling around on the ground trying to get those demon pants on.  
  
When you heard the sound, you froze.  
  
"Uuhh.. Hi." You swallowed back a whimper.  
  
Your head tipped back in an attempt to get a good look at her. Though the view was upside down, she looked pretty. She had straight, hazel hair that stopped just before her shoulders, and eyes to match. The expression on her face with absolute confusion and embarrassment. Embarrassment for you, probably. This was the most awkward situation you’d ever been in.  
  
"Hi."  
  
"Do you need any help with that?"  
  
"No, no. I mean.. Do you have a sewing needle, thread, and some scissors?"  
  
"Yeah, here.."  
  
She started going through her drawers. In the meantime, you pulled off the pants and sat on your bed. You weren’t in the mood of having another face to face encounter after this one, so you opted to tailor the clothes yourself.  
  
You thanked Petra for the supplies, and then got to work. She sat on her bed- which was across the room- and watched, perplexed.  
  
First, you went to work on the pants…  
  
  
About an hour or so later you were done. You’d turned the pants into shorts, so you could use the material from the pant legs for side panels. The shirt ended just above your belly button, but it could be buttoned closed thanks to the addition of 2 panels. You smiled at your handiwork.  
  
"I don’t think the captains will enjoy your work as much as you do.." Petra sounded a tiny bit worried.  
  
"I think it’ll be fine for now.." You slipped on the jacket and grimaced at the boots. "Do I have to wear those?"  
  
She nodded. You sighed.  
  
"You’ve got to put on the belts first though."  
  
She motioned to the confusing pile of leather straps, belts, and buckles next to the combat boots.  
  
"Ooohh.." The frustration in your voice was too heavy to hide.  
  
"Don’t worry, I’ll help you out with them!"  
  
She smiled softly before picking the pile up and beginning to untangle it.  
  
  


**\-----**

  
  
The ordeal was over just in time for lunch. You were fully dressed, your hair was combed out and pulled back, and you donned your favorite casual lipstick.  
  
"I still don’t see why this version of the uniform would be so bad.."  
  
You pouted, making your way down to the dining hall with Petra.  
  
"I never said it was bad; I said the idea of wearing it to lunch was."  
  
"Well It’s the only thing I’ve got, so.."  
  
The conversation died as Petra led you to the large, wooden dining hall doors. She turned and started to leave.  
  
"Hey wait, where you goin’? Aren’t you gonna sit and eat with me?"  
  
"Oh, sorry. I promised I’d help Auruo with something.." The way this person’s name was spat from her lips almost made you cringe. The annoyed expression on her face added to the effect.  
  
"Sit with the others! Later!"  
  
She made her way back down the hallway, never stating who 'the others' are, and you were left at the doors, alone. You stood there for a minute, making sure you looked alright.  
  
 _'Aww, jeez.. I didn't realize how short I made these shorts.. I guess it's fine; it_ _is hot out today.. Maybe I should roll up the jacket sleeves a bit to make it go better..’_  
  
Instead of ending right above your knees- like you intended- the shorts stopped half way up your thighs, and they would have been riding up if it weren’t for the belts keeping them in place. The shirt's top 2 buttons were left undone. You also rolled up the sleeves of your jacket to the elbow.  
  
[(A/N: This is the song I was listening to when I was writing this section, click if you're a musically oriented person like me!)](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://youtu.be/KJ2lsG3I8IU)  
  
You took a few seconds to gather your courage; an unforgettable first appearance was to be had. When you were composed, you kicked open the doors to the hall. The eyes of most people were torn from their meals and pasted on you. The room went silent.  
  
The hall wasn’t too terribly large, and your scanned the room, hands on your hips, to find a place to sit. Levi, Erwin, and Hanji were at a table near the other end of the room. Armin sat with a group you didn’t know. Hanji’s table would be your goal.  
  
  
You did your signature strut, the one you did earlier behind Levi. Except, this time, there was something different. Instead of your sashay screaming “happy” or “excited,” it screamed “confident.” It felt so good, so undeniably good, that you struggled to keep the cool, calm, and sexy look off your face. You had never felt like this when working at the clubs.  
  
On impulse, you pulled out the band tying your hair, letting it poof out a bit and fall to your back. After slipping it onto your wrist, you used the same hand to comb through it. The other one stayed on your hip.  
  
All the males, and even some of the females, gaped at you. Some dropped their food, some choked mid bite. It especially motivated you when you saw faces turned red. You were always a bit confused about why you had that effect.  
  
You never realized how your body moved when you switched up your gait. It was both sensual and graceful, delectable for the eyes. You flowed across the room. Your hips led the luscious parade, and the rest of your body followed suit. Thanks to the ill-fitting bra you'd been wearing, your breasts bounced with each step, seemingly trying to revolt against your hip's authority.  
  
Hanji wolf-whistled at you and motioned for you to sit with her.  
  
  
The faces at the table were surprising. Levi had a tinge of pink spread across his cheeks, but his cold stare never faltered. Commander bushy-brows’ gaze softened, but there was no hint of a blush. Hanji, on the other hand, was smirking deviously.  
  
You stopped at the end of the table, between Corporal frowny-face and Erwin, and slammed your free hand on the table. Your back arched, pushing out your chest and your hips, and you put most of your weight on one foot to tap the other one against the floor.  
  
"You mind if I sit here?"  
  
  
The answer that you got from Corporal party-pooper surprised you.  
  
“You can sit in my office.  **Now.** ”  
  
Hanji waggled her eyebrows at you as Levi stood from his seat. You had no choice but to follow him.  
  
  


**\-----**

  
  
For being such a debbie-downer, the man knew how to clean. His office was spotless and, surprisingly, the room lacked the intense scent of harsh cleaning products. Instead, there was a lingering aroma of cologne and the faint smell of ink.  
  
You were sitting in one of the two chairs across from his desk. Levi's workspace consisted of several organized stacks of paperwork, an ink jar and quill/pen set, a note pad, and a clock.   
  
The great captain himself was sitting in front of you, filling out some papers and placing them in their respective stacks. You shifted in your seat, swinging your leg over the arm of the chair.   
  
He seemed not to notice.  
  
You plucked your favorite lip balm out of your jacket's right chest pocket, and smudged some on your lip. You pursed your lips together and popped them, loud.  
  
He simply placed his pen into the jar of jet black ink, and his gaze snapped up to you. A gasp escaped your lips as you shrank back against your seat, intimidated.   
  
"Sit properly in my office, you dolt."  
  
You instantly sat up and your eyes drifted down to your bare knees.  
  
"Look at me when I'm speaking to you."  
  
Grudgingly, you shifted your fearful stare to his frigid one. Once again, your palms began to sweat and the back of your neck warmed up. His face softened considerably for a fraction of a second. Perhaps he felt bad for you?  
  
"What happened to your uniform?"   
  
The man intwined his fingers as he placed his elbows on the desk. His hands became the table for which his chin rested on. This was the first time you had a chance to really look at him. He had an undercut, but his hair was immaculate. Not a strand out of place. He looked youthful, which was a shock given his line of work, but the bags under his eyes betrayed his tiredness.  
  
His lips looked soft.. Did he have a wife? You didn't see any ring on his finger.  _'But..'_  you thought,  _'only husbands could have well taken care of lips like those.. If only I could touch..'_  Your hands trembled in your lap as you repressed the urge, but you unconsciously licked your lips.  
  
"Brat. Answer the question."  
  
You jumped from your thoughts.

  
"Well.." For a moment, you lost your voice. You found it quickly, however, and sped through the explanation in a few seconds.

  
"I'd gotten the clothes, right? Yeah. They ended up not fittin' right at all, and I didn't know the way to the Commander's office, and Petra wasn't there, so I had to get a needle and thread and tailor them to fit and stuff, because I couldn't even get them over my hips, and I had to shorten everything so I could use the material to fit it and I thought it'd be okay because it's kind of really hot today.."  
  
"30 laps around the building."  
  
"Uhm.. What?"  
  
"You think that it's okay because it's warm outside? Prove it's more useful. Run 30 laps around the building, now. No breaks. I'll be counting."  
  
Your voice rose up in your throat, threatening to make a sassy retort, but the glare Levi shot you made you swallow it back down.  
  
"Dismissed."  
  
You didn't get to see the yearning eyes on your ass as you walked out the door.  
  


**\-----**

  
It was your 24th lap around. You were exhausted, your feet ached, you were chafing pretty bad, and the areas from your forehead to bosom were covered in a sticky sweat- you'd pulled your hair back into a ponytail/bun to save it from drowning.  The 3rd button on your shirt had to be undone so your girls could breathe, and you could've sworn you were getting a terrible tan. Your bra was biting into your shoulders, too. It was awful.  
  


##### (A/N: To all my light-skinned readers, from what I've experienced, we dark-skinned folk tan, yes. Well, blacken really. We get darker. Think of going from milk chocolate to black coffee.)

 

A crowd of male soldiers, young and old, gathered to watch you. They didn't outright stare, though. Some pretended to do chores, others decided socialize, attempting you fool you into thinking their normal hang out spot was conveniently placed along your path. Few were bold enough to feign training, and fewer just outright stared.

You were numb to the gazes that bore into your breasts and hips by now. Actually, you stopped giving a shit around lap 12. You'd just wanted to get this over with before the sun set completely. Hopefully, the bright star itself would be so enamored with you that it'd slow down to scrutinize you as well.

  
Part of you was disappointed that someone  _wasn't_  watching.   
  
Levi wasn't anywhere to be seen.   
  
Little did you know, he was getting the best view of all from his spot, on the branch of a nearby tree. At first, this punishment was to strictly be a gauge of endurance, balance, and overall strength. What he didn't count on were the primal urges he had to subdue.   
  
His resentment about having to train you personally was being chipped away, lap by  _satisfying_  lap.


	4. Chapter 4

Mornings weren’t exactly your friend.  
  
Thanks to the sleep schedule you had when you worked, normally mornings were like nights for you. Often times, you passed out in your room around this time, but this time you were forced to wake up.  
  
And wake up you did.. 2 hours late.  
  
“Shiiiiitt…” you hissed, running your hands through your nappy hair. The morning sunlight blinded you as you stumbled out of bed. Petra was gone; probably off doing chores at the time.You didn’t get a chance to thank her for washing your uniform last night.  
  
Your clumsy naked stagger ended at the bathroom sink. The bags under your eyes were prevalent, your hair was a tangled mess at the back of your head, your [e/c] eyes were droopy, clouded by sleep, your legs ached from running laps, and your lips were chapped.  
  
In an attempt to wake yourself up, you splashed some cold water on your face. The only thing it did was make it look like you were either crying or sweaty. You sat down on the toilet, rubbing your eyes vigorously as you took your morning piss.  
  
With a groan, you slipped into your undies while trying to brush your teeth. The room was cold, and you had to hurry, so you tried putting on your shorts while brushing as well.  
  
 **BANGBANGBANG**  
  
There was a rapid set of knocks on your door. It startled you enough to make your step falter, forcing you to balance on one leg and awkwardly hop to the door.  
  
“CMMFFNNG!”  
  
Your response was muffled by the toothbrush in your mouth. Strategically shifting your weight, you pulled the door open by hooking your foot on the handle and jumping backwards.  
  
Unfortunately, your eyes met those of Lance Corporal Levi. His eyes widened slightly, almost unnoticeable, but you noticed. He looked you over, and then you realized why.  
  
Once again, you were a hot ass mess. You had no shirt on- just your bra, your shorts were up to your thighs- you hadn’t the chance to pull them all the way up, your hair had lint tangled into it- you lacked a nightcap, there was a trail of foamy saliva trailing down your chin- from your toothbrush, and you could barely keep your balance.  
  
“Hii Crrrpurrlll.”  
  
He glared at you.  
  
“Mmm runninn knnda laae tdaaay, surry..”  
  
“You’re 30 minutes late for training.”  
  
“Huuld nnnn.”  
  
You slammed the door in his face (on accident), before running to the sink. After rinsing out your mouth, you returned.  
  
As soon as the ‘click’ of the door mechanism opening was heard, Levi shoved opened the door and invited himself into your room, closing it behind him.  
  
You stumbled backwards, and threw yourself into a task. When you got nervous, you needed something to do with your hands. You fell to your knees in front of your rucksack. This time, it was going through your bag to get your hair pick and comb, and attempting to de-kink your [h/c] knots.  
  
“Pull your pants up and put on a shirt.”  
  
His words went through one ear and out the other. Or, rather, they were absorbed by your mass of hair. At the moment, you were feverishly combing at your hair, it needed complete focus. There was a light, audible, scratchy sound with every tug of that comb.  
  
“ **Cadet.** ”  
  
Once more, his voice went right over your head. You’d almost finished combing the left side if your wretched mass, and opted to go for braids.  
  
Levi started walking over. You were so engrossed in braiding your hair that  you hadn’t noticed.  
  
As you began working through the other section of your hair, he grabbed your arm and stopped you, pulling you up to your feet.  
  
You were really glad that you used the bathroom earlier, because you were fairly certain that you would’ve wet yourself right on the spot.  
  
While his expression never really changed, Levi’s eyes were a dangerous mix of fury and another emotion that you’d neither heard of nor experienced.  
  
“H..Hi..?”  
  
“Why are you  _late_?” He hissed.  
  
If he wasn’t so angry, he probably would’ve been pleased with the fact that, for once, he could look down on a cadet. You two were actually near the same height, more or less, but he was the one with the boots on.  
  


##### “I was asleep..”

  
Your voice was meek and quiet compared to his.  
  
“Speak up.”  
  
“I was asleep.”  
  
“Tch. Get dressed.”  
  
With that, he let go and you continued doing your hair.  
  
He watched.  
  
He watched as you tugged up your shorts and zipped them up. He watched as you slipped on your shirt and buttoned it up. He watched as you washed your face and put on your lipstick. He stopped watching as you struggled with the belts again.  
  
“Cadet."  
“ **You’re still _here?_** ”  
  
Your attention snapped to him and your blood ran cold. You’d been muttering obscenities about him the entire time.  
  
“Idiot..”  
  
He ambled up behind you and took the straps out of your arms. The belts were quickly detangled. You heard him get on his knees, then you felt his hands on your hips.  
  
“Turn around”  
  
You obliged. He swiftly started sliding the belt through the belt loops on your jeans and the loops on the 3DMG straps. Levi couldn’t help noticing the tailor job on your shorts. It was surprisingly well done.  
  
When he finished, he stood. His hands lingered on your hips for a moment before pulling away. Luckily, since he was more focused on your hips, he didn’t catch the glaring blush that covered your mocha cheeks. Quickly, you put the rest of the straps in place and buckled the remaining buckles.  
  
You were knocked out of your thoughts when her tossed you your jacket. It landed on your head.  
  
“ **Watch it, _short stuff_** ,” you snapped. Annoyance won over judgement.  
  
“Are you asking to run another 30 laps, brat?”  
  
“N-no!”  
  
“It’s ‘No,  _sir_.’”  
  
“N-no sir."  
  
His acrid stare bore holes into your back as you slipped on your jacket. After pulling on your boots, you turned to him.  
  
Levi was leaning against a wall, looking out the window. He almost felt guilty for making you put on the 3DMG straps. You weren’t going to be using it at all today, and he knew it, good and well. He just wanted a reason to get up close and personal with you.  
  
  
“Sir?”  
  
“What’s your name, cadet?”  
  
“Uuuuh…”  
  
And things were going so well.. You raked your memories, trying to remember. There was [Stage Name], before that was [Stage Name 2], and before that it was [Maid Name].. Damn.. What was your original name?  
  
  
“I’m waiting. Do you  _not_  know your own name?”  
  
You were pretty sure you started to blush. He enjoyed it, of course. Levi was very well aware of your history. He was just trying to see you get flustered again.  
  
“[f/n]!” you blurted out, a little too excited. You remembered it!  
  
“I’m [f/n] [l/n].”  
  
He nodded before pushing himself off the wall and opening the door.  
  
“Come.”  
  
  


  
**\-----**

 

The Corporal led you to the stables. Not all the stalls were filled, and the ones that were housed horses of brown or black coats. No one else seemed to be around. You smiled wide.

“Training with horses today?”

“You’re going to be assigned a horse today.”

“Assigned?”

He nodded.

“What if I already have one?”

The image of the paint mare you gained years prior danced across your mind.

“Where is it?”

“Uuhm.. At someone's stables?”

He glared at you.

“It will be safer there.”

“But what if I don’t want another horse.”

“Then you won’t ride one at all.”

You huffed, turned on your heel and started to walk away.

“I’m gonna ask the Commander.”

“He’ll say the same thing."

The click of a stall being opened resonated through the stable.

“I wouldn’t be so sure, Levi.”

 

Commander Erwin closed the stall door behind him, giving his horse a treat before turning to you and Levi.

“Commander,” Levi uttered.

“I’m sure you know we’ll need all the horses we can get after that last expedition. Go with her to get her horse.”

“But-”

“Levi. That’s an order.”

He let out a simple, “tch” before saddling up his horse.

 

  
 **\-----  
**

#####  **(A/N:[More music for the ones who listen to tunes while reading!](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://youtu.be/StcumKCElrE))**

Calm.

The feeling was near constant throughout the ride.

You’d opted to ride with Levi there, since you’d be riding your own horse back. He had the name of the stables, and he probably knew a faster route. That, and you wanted to prove a point- you’d only ride your horse. Amazingly, he wasn’t as snippy with your demands as you thought he’d be. Maybe because of Erwin’s presence, but you thought there was something else.

He seemed tense around you. When you’d gotten on his dark stallion, his body stiffened up. You felt him clench his jaw when you snaked your arms around his waist. You rolled these examples around in your mind, trying to find a reason, a cause.

 

Eventually your thoughts faded away. A yawn escaped your lips, and you rested your head on Levi’s shoulder. The sleep you lost earlier had come back to haunt you.

It manifested itself in the form of the environment. The warm sun on the back of your cloak and legs. The gentle breeze that rustled his hair, wafting his scent into your face. The trot that pushed your thick figure gingerly against his lean, sinewy one.

 

You couldn’t help but inhale his scent. It was the same subtle scent from his room, only magnified. Intoxicating. Not many times have you been around a man who didn’t smell of alcohol or lust. This smell- no, Levi’s smell, soothed you. So much that you cooed softly when you exhaled, a bit sad that you had to wait until your next breath to experience it again.

The grip you had on his waist tightened, in an attempt to keep you steady when the next wave of his scent hit. You could feel his abs through his shirt. Absentmindedly, you explored his stomach with your fingers. Each muscle was defined, it was marvelous. 

Most men you’d seen in the club were lazy, fattened with easy lives. Levi was different, toned. As you started to trace the crevices of his abs, he cleared his throat. You snapped back to reality for a moment, and placed your hands where they were previously.

This was the most twisted form of torture. No matter how much you enjoyed this moment, it’d never last. Who would want an animal like yourself, other than for sex? You were a freak. Proper folk, like Levi, don’t love freaks. Humanity’s strongest deserves better than an ex-stripper.

 

You let out a somber, quiet sigh and closed your eyes, beginning to gradually lean on him. The man noticed as more of your weight settled onto his back. Instead of making a harsh comment like he'd usually do, he simply warned.

“Tch. Make sure not to fall off when you fall asleep. I’m not patching up any wounds on this trip”

His voice was soft; it lacked the hard icy edges that were customary. You took this a form of approval for you to nap. Even if you didn’t, your body would have anyway.

The sound of hooves on packed dirt and rustling leaves were the lullaby that drifted you off to sleep.

\- - -

  
Levi was going through some heavier thoughts as well. For the most part, he was conflicted.

Your touch put him on edge. Your voice made his heart race. But was it infatuation or lust? Were the cravings from the day before returning?

He was pulled from his mind by the faint sensation of fingers on his skin. Not only did you constrict his waist, but you started to caress his abdomen. At first it was nirvana to him, having your nails brush his stomach. Pretty soon, he could feel his composure waning, and he cleared his throat.

Your hands returned to their previous spots. His body returned to its original posture.

The way you fit against him was unexpected. Comfortable. Perfect. He’d never had something- met someone- that gave him the feeling of completion that you were giving him. Even Petra.

 

Petra and Levi had dated for about a few months, not too long after he picked her for the squad. They used to be inseparable, mostly due to Petra. She was infatuated him, he knew. It started out great. He wasn’t as lonely, and she was with the man she loved. However, it was slowly fell apart.

Something was always off, always missing. The passion faded from their kisses. Their hugs went from pleasant to awkward. The whole relationship just became cumbersome. On top of that, she wanted things to move way too quickly. Levi was the one who finally cut it off.

He felt so terrible about it. The only reasoning he could find for the faltering fling was the fact that he was inexperienced. The downfall was because of him. He didn't know how it was supposed to work, while Petra expected him to. He could lead an army with ease, but leading a relationship was harder then he'd expected. It was different.

 

His guilt about the situation wasn’t warded off easily, but just your presence was enough for it to disappear completely. You were almost at the stables, so he directed his horse to switch gaits, from a trot to a walk. He wanted you to stay asleep. To stay comfortable. To stay curled up around him. To keep his troubles at bay for a little while longer.

Once he was certain that you were completely asleep, he let his gaze soften up a bit. A small, almost undetectable, smile crept onto his face.

 

 **\-----**

“Cadet.”

 

“ **Cadet [l/n], we’re _here_.** ”

 

### “[f/n]!”

You jumped, startled out of your slumber. The first thing you saw was the back of Levi’s head. The memories of the ride here came back as you wiped the sleep out of your eyes.

You dismounted, hissing as you landed on your aching legs. The sight was pretty surprising.. in a bad way.

 

The once glamorous stables looked dilapidated now. Shingles were missing off of the roof, wood was splintering, and the house not far from it looked abandoned. The grass was filled with weeds of various kinds, and the gates were falling off the hinges.

As Levi dismounted, you darted to the front steps of the house. You remembered coming here before. This had to be the right place. The piece of paper nailed to the door confirmed your suspicions.

It had the letters E-V-I-C-T-I-O-N  N-O-T-I-C-E in all caps across the tops. The rest of the page looked like chicken scratch and random letters. You’d seen this enough before, an eviction notice.

It made sense, of course. The soldier who lived here was one of the Garrison, and given that Trost happened about a week ago, he probably died fighting. His family couldn’t have been able to take care of all of the land and animals properly without the money from his paycheck, so they probably left. Either that, or they went to live in a district within wall Sina, trading their savings for safety. 

The reason didn’t matter, the fact that they hit the road did. You decided to check the stables.

 

When you entered, you were greeted with the smell of dirty stalls and the sounds of..

 

...hungry horses?

You counted eleven. Eleven horses for left, locked in their stalls, to die of starvation. Part of you wanted to break down and cry right then, but you didn’t. Those poor creatures..

 

A loud whinny rang out as a certain [blue roan paint mare](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://i46.servimg.com/u/f46/12/16/64/06/dscf0316.jpg) thrashed eagerly in her stall.

#### “[h/n]!”


	5. Chapter 5

Levi watched from the doorway as you and your horse were reunited.  
  
"[h/n]" you crooned, approaching it slowly. "Easy, easy girl."  
  
You reached into your jacket pocket and pulled out some sliced apples with a light coating of sugar.   
  
"It's me, remember?"  
  
It calmed down considerably, and reached it's head out for the apples. Obligated, you reached out your hand and flattened your palm, allowing your horse to eat the sweet treat. As she ate, you pet her.  
  
"Hey, Captain L-Levi, come meet my horse!"  
  
He was no longer in the doorway when you turned to look. Instead, he was feeding and watering the other 10 horses. It was a more productive option than fussing over a single horse. You muttered a quiet apology to your horse before going off to help Levi.  
  
  
After all the horses were taken care of, the short man turned to you.  
  
"Saddle up your horse. We're leaving."  
  
"But what about the rest of them?" You couldn't leave them to die.   
  
"I'll inform the Commander and Dita about it, they'll handle it from there. There's nothing we can do about it right now."  
  
You chuffed, upset. You both knew he was right. The only thing left to do here was to wait for your horse to finish eating, then get your behind out of there.  
  


\- - -

  
There was a slight inconvenience; you could only find bridles. Not a saddle was to be found. The owners probably sold them for a quick dollar.  
  
You picked out a nicer looking bridle and slipped it onto your horse's head with ease. Corporal Short-meister was already on his horse, waiting outside. There was no other choice but to stack some hay bales and use them to mount [h/n]. You steadied yourself, before walking out.   
  
"[f/n]." He slipped up and used your first name. It made your heart flutter. " _Where_  is your saddle?"  
  
The question made you flustered. It was spoken with concern as if you were about to be scolded.  
  
"I couldn't find one in there, and I didn't want to waste too much time, so.." Your voice trailed off.  
  
"Do you know how to ride bareback?"  
  
"Kind of. I've done it once or twice before."  
  
"Tch. Get off."  
  
You were confused, but followed his orders still. He dismounted and started taking the saddle off of his horse. It only took a moment for it to all click.  
  
 _'Oh my god._  
  
 _Humanities strongest,_ ** _THE_  ** _Lance corporal_ ** _LEVI ACKERMAN_** _, is giving me_ ** _HIS_** _saddle._  
 _His_ ** _BUTT_  ** _has_ ** _VIGOROUSLY RUBBED_  ** _against that saddle_ ** _HUNDREDS OF TIMES_** _._  
 _Now_ ** _MY BUTT_** _will be_ ** _RUBBING VIGOROUSLY_** _against it._  
 _If butt kisses were a thing, this would be the most_ ** _SICKNASTY SLOPPY INDERECT ASS-FRENCH-KISS EVER_** _._  
  
 ** _OH MY GOD!_ ♥︎♥︎♥︎** _'_  
  
While your thoughts weren't being broadcasted through your mouth, they took a detour.. through your face.  
  
Levi stood in front of you, holding the saddle and saddle pad. Your face was contorted into an expression of pure joy and fantasy. Lips curved in a big smile, cheeks flushed to a red-brown hue, and eyes shut tight. Your hands were in fists, and those fists were pressed against your cheeks.   
  
You were completely oblivious to him as he rolled his eyes and walked around you. He saddled up your horse and stood quietly behind you, waiting for you to start talking. He knew you were bound to slip up some time, Hanji did enough around him already.  
  
Images of you and him rubbing butts were the first things generated by your mind. They rapidly escalated into pictures of you and him holding hands, kissing, and him unbuttoning your shirt..  
  
"L- _Levi_ ~..  _Pleeeaasee_ ~.." you moaned his name, your voice barely above a whisper.  
  
Hearing his name being cooed like that sent shivers down his spine, giving him a rush that was uncomfortably strong. He quickly snapped in front of your face.  
  
Your eyes popped open in response.  
  
"[f/n]."  
  
You turned to the direction of the voice. Levi was standing in front of your saddled mare.  
  
"Levi please what?" he asked, a hint of smugness creeping into his features.  
  
"Please.. please.." you floundered, trying to find the right words. "Please.. Mount your horse so we can get the fuck out of here."  
  
You'd gotten abrasive. Tends to happen when people back you into a corner like he did. Still, you had to bite back the urge to apologize. In an attempt to hide the crack in your composure- and ego- you mounted your horse and started to leave.  
  
Rather than stopping you, he mounted his horse and passed you. He was at a gallop, riding bareback.  
  
It was a challenge, and you accepted it, running full speed right behind him.  
  
Boy did he like pushing your buttons.  
  


**\-----**

  
Levi was in the Commander's office while you were in the dining hall. At first their conversation was purely business, but it meandered on the gray area between work and casual affairs.  
  
"Erwin, I need permission to use a squad or two, after lunch if that's possible." Levi's gaze hardened as he clasped his hands together in his lap.  
  
"What for?" Their blue eyes met, inquisitive cerulean against dull indigo.  
  
"There's about 10 horses at that stable without proper housing. They've been abandoned, and I plan to bring them here."  
  
There was a surprised silence before Erwin responded.  
  
"You're doing this for  _her,_  aren't you?" His mouth twisted into a complacent smirk when he caught a glint of embarrassment in Levi's eyes. He avoided the question.  
  
"I'm doing this because it's the right thing to do."  
  
"The right thing to do for  _her,_  you mean?"   
  
"She has a name you know."  
  
"Does she? How'd you get it out of her?" Erwin leaned forward onto his desk, and folded his hands together.  
  
"Her name is [f/n] [l/n]. You only had to ask."  
  
Silence took over the room as their conversation continued through eye contact. Erwin and Levi knew each other so well that they didn't need words to convey emotions.   
  
Erwin raised one of his gloriously thick brows as if to say,  _'You like [f/n], don't you?'  
  
_ Levi hardened his gaze a bit too much. It was meant to be a  _'No, it's purely a soldier-captain relationship,'_  but it ended up coming off as,  _'Don't you dare tell anyone about this or I'll fucking kill you.'_  To be honest, it was a little bit of both. His gaze dropped, and he furrowed his brows. Levi was worried.  
  
Erwin picked up on it instantly. "You blame yourself too often, Levi."  
  
He kept himself from making eye contact with the commander.   
  
"You and Petra just weren't compatible. Now, tell me honestly corporal: What would you do with the horses if [f/n] hadn't put you up to saving them?"  
  
You happened to be passing by the room on you way back from lunch. After hearing your name, you froze, and quietly positioned yourself outside Erwin's office.  
  
"I'd personally send them someplace else. They're obviously unfit for the military. Some are too old, and all of them need extra care just to be well enough to train."  
  
A sharp cracking noise was made in your head; it was the sound of your heart being chipped away. Part of you agreed with him and you hated it. You hated how logical, how right he was.  
  
"Hm. Take Dita and his squad. Bring all of the horses here. Dismissed."  
  
You fled the scene as you heard the scrape of a chair; Levi had gotten up to leave.  
  
You'd show them that at least some of the horses were useful.   
  
You'd care for them and train them.  
  
You'd do it all  **yourself**.  
  
  


**\-----**

  
  
Midnight greeted you with the sound of soft breathing and a dark room. This was the 3rd time you'd woken up that night, so you put little faith into falling back asleep. Your old sleeping habits were harder to break than you'd thought they'd be.   
  
You felt around on your nightstand, looking for a set of matches. Once you found it, you set a candle on your candlestick and lit it. Petra stirred, you stopped. She stopped, you stirred. The candle was waved around your bookcase as you searched for a certain book. You pulled the book with the horse on the spine, a horse training book with great pictures, and crept down to the stables.   
  
  
The light flipping of pages was the only thing heard, and the smell of candles mixed with the deep scent of horses. Levi had done as he was told, and retrieved all the abandoned equines. Most of them were asleep, as were most of the soldiers, but, you were going through the pictures in the book. The candle was your light, and you'd made yourself comfortable on a pile of hay, in your pajamas.  
  
 _'If these horses are in the military.. Wouldn't it make sense for them to learn dressage?'_  You flipped another page, revealing a picture of a horse, probably in the middle of doing a flying lead change.  _'That doesn't make any sense though.. We're fighting titans, not other people.. Maybe cross country?'_  It took a little longer, but you turned to the section in the book for it. You'd used the table of contents, and sounded the words out quietly to yourself.  
  
 _'This has to be it. It's perfect for getting around outside the wall; going through rivers and over rough terrain. Covering vast amounts of land quickly, too. I'll learn how to do this.'_  You traced the diagram of an advanced cross country course with your finger before sticking a piece of hay on the page and tucking the book into some hay. The course in the book, you'd decided, was going to be the one you'd practice on.   
  
You slung an axe over your shoulder and picked up your candlestick by the circular handle before setting out into the woods get some logs. Never before had you used an axe, or cut down a tree, but you were going to learn tonight.  
  
The first goal to make was to make the jumps. Second, make the path through the dense forest that surrounded the castle. Third, place the jumps. Fourth, add the water features, or find them. Last, but not least, run the course, beginning to end and end to beginning until you could handle all the obstacles with ease.  
  
Most of the logs for goal one were cut by the time the dark of night subsided. As the morning sun began to thrive, you made your way back inside to get dressed.  
  
From then on, you're nights were spent like that; working on the course and training your horse.  
  
  


**\-----**

  
  
Days had passed since that first night, and you began to open up to several people. Opening up to Levi was unavoidable, you couldn't control your mouth as easily around him. Opening up to Petra, however, surprised you.  
  
The day before, the chestnut-haired girl invited you on a trail ride. She must have picked up on your affinity for them thanks to all the time you spent in the barn. You didn't mind, though; it helped you get a feeling for the amount of land you had to work with and let you blow off some emotional steam.  
  
Your tutor sessions turned into trail ride sessions, since you mostly talked and gossiped with her during the time anyway. No one seemed to take notice or care, either, so you rolled with it.  That day, you had some pressing questions to ask her.  
  
She was babbling on about some relationship between the newer recruits when you cut her off.  
  
"You know the guy who smiles like a horse? Jean? Apparently he's going out with this other soldier, Lucas. Who would've thought Jean was gay?"  
  
You were half listening.   
  
"I'm kind of disappointed though. Lucas looks pretty cute, too bad he's rooting for the other team. They look cute together though, I saw them eating together in the dining ha-"  
  
"Petra, how do you know if you like someone?"  
  
"What? Like, or  _like_ -like?"  
  
"Both."  
  
"Usually, when you like someone as a friend you have several things in common with them and want to talk to them casually. I've never really thought about the qualifications. It just kinda.. You trust them, they trust you, and often times you just like being around each other. You accept most things they say because you accept them."  
  
"And the other one?"  
  
She paused, pursing her lips while she mulled it over.  
  
"Well, all of that stuff, but multiplied. You have a harder time controlling yourself around them, get embarrassed really easily too. The person you  _like_ -like is on your mind most of the time, and you want them to be truly happy. Oh, and you get excited when they're around, in multiple ways. It's very long lasting- if it's true it never fades, though sometimes the excitement will. Um.."   
  
She trailed off, putting a finger to her lips as she thought about the question more. Her attention soon drifted to Levi. Abruptly, she shook her head and cantered ahead to block your path.  
  
"Why'd you ask? Does [f/n] have someone in mind?"  
  
You stopped immediately, and answered a bit too quickly.  
  
"No! No I don't, I was just c-curious." You could barely keep a straight face. When you tried to trot around her, she cut off your path with a giggle and a glint of interest in her eyes.  
  
"Who is it? I promise I won't tell!"  
  
With a grunt and a roll of your [e/c] orbs, you let your secret slip.  
  
"I think.. I think I might  _like_ -like Levi."  
  
Petra gasped.. and not in a good way. See, she wasn't expecting competition for the Captain's heart from anyone, especially in her own  _squad_.  
  
"Uhm.. [f/n]."   
  
She turned and continued on the trail. You followed.  
  
"Is.. Is everything alright? Is it bad?"  
  
For the first time in a long time, Petra lied.  
  
  
 **"Levi and I are dating."**  
  
  


## dating."

  
  
  


# dating

  
  
  
The word resonated in your head, taunting you with every echo. The only thing louder than the tormenting reiterations was the sound of your shattering confidence and fracturing heart.  
  
Petra swallowed the 'Just kidding' that rose up in her throat. Your face was contorted into an expression of pure heartbreak so profound that even a titan would pause to pity you with a look like that. You fought to contain your tears.

"Oh, I'm s-sorry.. Forget I said anything." The reply was shaky as you turned your horse around.

  
"[f/n], wait.."  
  
"I just ne-ed to be alone." Your voice broke on the word need, as did the dam that held your tears. You galloped back down the way you came.  
  
  
The only things Petra could think about were wishes and reasons why she shouldn't feel bad.  
She wished she hadn't sent that stupid letter to her father about committing herself to Levi. That way, this wouldn't have happened.  
She wished Levi hadn't broken up with her. That way, it wouldn't have come to this.   
She wished she had the courage to tell the truth to her dad. If she did, this could have been avoided.  
  
But most of all:   
  
She wished she didn't say what she said.


	6. Chapter 6

You avoided everyone for those next few days. Thanks to Petra, your trust had to be earned.  
  
Instead of sitting with Hanji and the others for meals, you sat at a small, empty table at the corner of the dining hall, alone. You didn’t mind it. Anything was better than sitting with a whole bunch of backstabbers. Why didn’t Hanji tell you Levi was taken?  
  
When you trained with him, you put all your frustration into it. Pretty soon, you’d mastered the slicing technique. He was slightly impressed at the depth of your cuts. Normally, you would have been ecstatic, but you simply waved away his words on your way to lunch.  
  
Since you’d been reading from that horse book more frequently, Armin frequently praised you at your ability to learn quickly during your tutoring sessions. It wasn’t really learning, it was working. (You skipped Petra’s tutor sessions to read the book and take care of the horses.)  
  
The cross country course you’d been building was nearly complete, and [h/n] could now jump tables. You started working some of the other rescue horses, gauging their abilities and temperaments.  
  
You had an outfit change, too. The shorts got shorter, and you left another button loose on your shirt. With your first paycheck, you went to a shoemaker and got your combat boots altered into some combat heels. They were short enough to not cause a ruckus, but tall enough for you to feel comfortable. You didn’t get reprimanded. It’s not like anyone gave a shit about you, anyway.  
  
The smile that donned your features faded. Your strut, your signature flirty gait, left with it. They were replaced with the straight face of a warrior and the commanding stride of a fiercely independent woman.  
  
For the three days after Petra told you, you worked yourself until you couldn’t feel. When you couldn’t work, you slept or ate, then put yourself to work again. You didn't know how to deal with raw emotions, so you went numb.  
  
Naturally, Levi began to worry about you. Every time you made eye contact with him, which wasn't often truth be told, his eyes softened and his brows furrowed. Probably worried about the dull, emotionless look that resided in yours.  _'It's malarky,'_ you told yourself,  _'He oughtta know good and well why I've been avoidin' him. He's the one with the **girlfriend**.'   
  
_ At first, you didn't believe the other women who worked at the clubs. At first, you had hope that their words were biased, therefore not a reliable source. But now you had experienced it.   
  
Men  _are_  pigs.  
  
  


**\-----**

  
  
The fourth day was when the meltdown happened.   
  
You'd silently entered the dining hall for breakfast and sat in your spot. Everyone stared, they always stared. You were an exotic animal. A crocodile misplaced in a river of alligators. Naturally, people would see you as an attraction, a spectacle. Not a flying fuck was given.  
  
An obnoxiously loud set of footsteps could be heard stomping right up behind you. It was Hanji.  
  
"[F/N]!"  
  
You grunted and took a bite of your bread.  
  
"Why have you been avoiding us for so long?"  
  
Levi put her up to this. You could feel it. She couldn't have known your name, and even if you had told it to her, she would've forgotten it by now.  
  
"You should know. You were probably in the loop about all this."  
  
"In the loop about what? Shorty and Eyebrows miss your company."  
  
"Where are my fucks? Where are they?" You feigned searching your pockets for something. "Not here. Sorry, looks like I left them with my happiness, six feet under and pushin' up daisies."  
  
"C'mon, [f/n]! Levi apologizes if he did or said anything to upset you. That's a lot, coming from him!"  
  
"Well, go thank Commander Wax-your-brows and Corporal Jackass for me. Give Jackass extra thanks."  
  
"For?"  
  
"Telling me he's dating  _Petra's pasty ass."_  Her name was spat from your lips like it was poisonous.  
  
"What?" Hanji sounded honestly surprised. "What are you talking about? He broke up with her a months ago!"  
  
Your eyes snapped open and you turned to face her, clenching your bread so hard that it began to squish out between your fingers. You spoke through gritted teeth.  
  
"Hanji. Care. To. Repeat. That. To. Me?"  
  
  
She stepped back, surprised by the rage in your eyes. And when the titan-hugger gets startled, you know shit is getting real.  
  
"They split. Levi ended it because he didn't love her, a  _long_  time ago."  
  
"Where. Is. She?" Your hands shook, a symptom of the unavoidable explosion.  
  
"Doesn't she room with you? She should be getting dressed or something."  
  
Abruptly, you stood up, knocking your chair over. Your nails were digging into the table. All of the rough feelings, the misery and indignation you'd bottled up for the past four sunrises were bubbling up, threatening to blow off the cap.  
  
The entire room was staring at you, again, as you walked away.   
  
  


**\-----**

  
  
First you checked her room. It was empty. You packed what little you had into your satchel before leaving; sleeping with the devil was no longer an option.   
  
The next place on your list was the courtyard. She'd taken you there before, for tutoring sessions. It was empty, save for Jean and Lucas making out in the grass. Their eyes snapped to yours, and you glared at them before returning to the hallways.  
  
Last on your list was the one you were dreading: Corporal Levi's office. You really, truly hoped out of the deepest pits of your shriveled heart that she wasn't there. You didn't want to beat her up. You didn't want to see her as a conniving hoe. But, if she was in that room, the evidence would be unquestionable.  
  
  
Your body led you to Levi's office. The nails that had once dug into your table were now digging into your palms. Anger directed you to kick open the door.  
  


 

### BANG

  
  
The sight you beheld filled you with more fury than you could handle. There was your first friend, ex-friend, cleaning up Levi's room with a stupid ass grin on her face.  
  
Your blood was replaced with white hot liquid rage, hotter than any titan's skin. Your vision blurred and your body tensed. Logic was replaced with unfiltered vehemence.  
  
"Heichou! I didn't ex-"  
  
Your fist completed the sentence for her. Her pretty little cheek was tinted red, turning purple. You left a bad bruise. Petra fell to her knees before you.  
  
"You little  ** _BITCH_**! I  _trusted_  you!"   
  
Her body was thrown into the hallway. You'd lifted her by her hair and thrust her there. Did chopping down trees do wonders for strength or what?  
  
"No, [f/n], I can explain!"   
  
She held her cheek, backing up against the wall. You took a step towards her.  
  
"I-I had to. Not for me, but because-"  
  
You took another step.  
  
"Chill out! C'mon, I didn't know you-"  
  
You took another step. She stood and backed up, using the wall to stay up. Fear was in her eyes.  
  
"I don't want any of your  _fucking pathetic_  excuses." Your voice was low, enraged. "I want the truth, you  **whore**."  
  
  
She glanced back. You two weren't far from a turn in the hallway. She must have figured she could dip out while you flipped out, judging by what she began to say.  
  
"Truth? Alright.. I wanted Levi all to myself."  
  
You took a larger step forward; she took a larger step back.  
  
  
"I knew he would be better of with a survivor like me."  
  
You took a step, she took a step.  
  
  
" _Survivor_? You tellin' me I can't  _survive_?" You stayed put, memories of Trost dancing around in your head.  
  
"I'm telling you that you wouldn't be able to last a day outside the walls."  
  
"I bet I could!" Your eyes filled with angry tears.  
  
"I bet you  _couldn't!_ "  
  
"I  _ **CAN**_. I  ** _WILL_**!"  
  
"Prove it, crybaby!"  
  
  
Petra turned and slipped around the corner, sprinting down the corridor like a bat out of hell. You followed and caught up fairly quickly, the altered boots aiding you in the chase. Like a scene straight off of AnimalPlanet, you lunged at her, taking her down mid stride.   
  
 **"I WILL** _FUCK_ **YOU** _UP_ **!"**  
  
  


### CRACK

  
The sound was from your knuckles as they popped against her jaw.  
  
  


### SNAP

  
There goes her nose.   
  
  


### "[f/n]!"

  
You were hoisted off of her body before you got the chance to land a third hit.  
  
Levi had arrived, along with Hanji, Erwin, and about half of the dining hall. They could hear fragments of your meltdown from there. The soldiers circled around the scene, watching intently.  
  
  
 **"LET ME GO LEVI!"**  
  
He held tight. It was harder to get out of his grip than you thought.  
  
 **"LET ME AT HER! LET ME _GO_!"**  
  
He started pulling your struggling body back. It was then that you went AWOL.  
  
  
Recollections of your childhood blocked your view of reality. There you were, 5 years old, once again being torn from your parents.  
  


## "NO!"

  
You shrieked, reaching out for them, tears streaming down your cheeks. In reality, you were clawing at the air several inches from Petra.  
  


## "LET ME  _GO_!"

  
You started flailing twice as hard in Levi's arms, despair and fright mixing with the in your head. It created a dangerously violent cocktail.  
  
One of your heels hit him in the groin. His grip loosened enough for you to escape his arms, so you managed you give Petra a good kick right to the chin. You couldn't really see her, though- only your kidnappers.  
  


### SMACK

  
Her body was knocked back a couple feet. As you tried to flee the scene, larger, stronger arms caught you. Erwin's arms.  
  
  
Your will to struggle faded as you phased between reality and memory. Black spots clouded your vision. The setting blurred, switching between the castle hallway and the city slums.  
  
You muttered a single word before you passed out.  
  
  


##### "..No.."


	7. Chapter 7

The sound of a door slamming closed pulled you from your sleep.

 

Your head was pounding. Your view was hazy. Dark spots blocked out the room every time you opened your eyes. Just barely, you could tell that it was sunset.

 

For a second, you froze, trying to remember what happened. All the thoughts rushed back into your head. The crush. The heartbreak. The sorrow. The pain. The shock. The anger. The way you became the animal that you so desperately didn't want to become. It all flowed back.

 

When you tried to cover your eyes, your hand was held back by something. A single pair of handcuffs kept your left hand on a short leash. It was then that you realized it.

 

You were in the same room from when you were saved, from Trost. The set up was identical. The candles on the table next to you still had the identifiable scrapes from then.

 

Your eyes scanned the room, and then made the mistake of looking down.

 

Bandages covered your hands, knuckles more specifically. More memories flooded back into your mind. The snapping and cracking of your fists against her skull. The anger from all the hurt in your life, surging up into an uncontrollable mass of violence. You were forced to relive everything from that morning all over again, and it wasn't very nice.

 

Silent tears started rolling down your cheeks. You felt really bad about this. All of it. You were a monster. You finally lived up to your title, animal. You'd became an 'it.'

  
  


"Why."

 

A single, cold voice cut through the warmth in the room. It sent a shiver of unease down your spine. Then, out of the darkness, just like before, a shorter man stepped out.

 

"Why did you do it?"

 

You couldn't will yourself to look at him. You couldn't will yourself to speak. Desperately, you tried to form the sentences in your thoughts, but none of them came out. The only thing you could do was cry.

 

So that's what you did.

 

You sat up, brought your knees up to your chest, and cried it all out.

 

He was disappointed in you. You felt it, the way he stared at you. He was hurt.

 

As Levi turned to exit the room, the one phrase you wanted to say the most slipped out of your sniveling frame. You managed to choke out two words, while sobbing.

 

"I-I'm Sorry.."

 

The door closed, and you were certain you had lost him.

 

The only thing you really wanted to do then was lose yourself.

 

A snippet of the argument with Petra played like a movie in your head.

 

"Survivor? You tellin' me I can't survive?"

"I'm telling you that you wouldn't be able to last a day outside the walls."

"I bet I could!"

"I bet you couldn't!"

"I CAN. I WILL!"

"Prove it, crybaby!"

 

That was it. That was going to be the way you'd lose yourself. You'd leave the wall behind and fight titans 'til you were eaten alive. You'd go out like a warrior.

 

Sunset's illumination faded as you were consumed by your thoughts. You'd need a plan. An elaborate plan for this to work. And extra training, and a way to get supplies, and a way to get out of the gates. You mulled everything over, organizing your ideas as you slowly drifted off to sleep.

  
  


\-----

  
  


When you woke, it was 1AM. You'd fallen asleep curled up against the wall, and your face was stained with tear streaks. You needed to get to the stables.

 

The room was empty, so you picked up the edge of the nightstand and freed your left arm. Getting the handcuffs themselves off would come later, when you could find the supplies. You stole away to your mare.

  
  


You had completed the cross country course. It looped around a meadow or two and swept along the training grounds. Specifically, it ran along the titan dummies. [h/n] had to stay completely calm and focused around the towering giants, and it would help her. The rest of the track twisted through dense forests and shallow, murky man-made ponds.

 

The goal for that night? Run the course at least twice, without fail. You saddled up your horse, and mounted her, mind meandering around a single question. It'd stay there for a long time, imprinted at the back of your mind.

 

'What will Levi think about all this?'

 

A shake of your head pushed it back into it's proper place as you set out on the trail.

 

\- - -

 

Lunch was terrible. You walked in and headed for your usual spot. The whole room stopped when you entered. They stopped and stared.

 

You spotted Petra, sitting with an annoyed looking Hanji. Levi was there, so was Erwin and company. Everyone but Hanji looked fairly concerned.. about Petra. Her face looked bad. The parts you could see were bruised, the rest were covered in bandages. You'd done a number on her ass.

 

The entire lunchroom stared at you with fear in their eyes. Some whispered about your fight the day before. Others moved their seat away when you got near. You were officially seen as a freak, congratulations. The lone, banged up handcuff you couldn't manage to get off didn't help your case.

 

As you sat with your meal, the conversation picked back up. Remnants of the gossip drifted over to where you rested.

 

"So she really just snapped like that?"

 

"Yeah, I saw it. She would've killed Petra if the Captain and Commander hadn't intervened."

 

"Wow, what is with the scouts taking on all these monsters? First titan-boy, and now this?"

 

"She's crazy. Why is she even here?"

  
  


You couldn't take it anymore. The sound of silence took over as you stood up, collected your things, and walked out.

 

From then on, you'd dine with your horse. You'd sleep in the stables. You'd train past the point of going numb.

 

From then on, you had to be strong enough to survive outside the wall, all by yourself.

  
  


[\-----](http://youtu.be/xHZwqa6lOd4)

  
  


For the next week, you trained hard. You skipped tutoring and training sessions with others, and did it alone. You didn't want or need anyone's help.

 

Your sleeping and eating habits were cut monumentally. The only times you slept were mealtimes. Two hours of sleep during breakfast. Training. Two hours of sleep during lunch. Training. Two hours of sleep during dinner. Training until dawn.

 

For food, you snuck leftovers out of the kitchen. The size of your meals was halved; you needed to save part of it for the personal expedition outside wall Rose.

 

With the cover of the sixth night, you managed to borrow several tanks of gas, extra blades, signal flares, and a map from the supply room. You counted on leaving then.

 

The plan was to make it to the Karanese district by midday. That way you could sleep until early morning. When you woke, you'd look for some Garrison soldiers with bulges bigger than their brains, seduce them into opening the gates, and make a break for it. If everything went well, no one would notice you were gone until it was too late.

  
  


You brushed [h/n]'s fur back before positioning the saddle pad on her back. There's no turning around after this.

 

The saddle was heaved onto her back and buckled into place. Your life was going to be on the line.

 

You put on your pack, filled with food and equipment before hoisting yourself onto her back. This had to be done.

 

You were not going to have to go through pain like that ever again. This would make sure of it.

 

As you exited the clearing in front of the castle, you pulled the hood of your cloak up to hide your face. You bid the place and all the people within it a silent farewell before trotting into the dark of night.

  
  


\-----

  
  


The following day, Hanji had called a meeting. Your absence was noticed by her, of all people. Just your luck that she had to take into account all of the supplies for that week.

 

Levi, Petra, Erwin, and herself gathered in her office.

 

"[f/n] [l/n] is gone! As are a couple of things from the supply room.."

 

Petra bit back a whimper.

 

"I found a map that was missing in the barn when I went to ask her about it. She was gone, but she forgot to take the map with her. Her path is outlined, here!"

 

She slammed the map onto the desk, knocking some of the papers and objects off. Hanji wasn't known for being the most organized.  However, true to her word, a path along wall rose was crudely scratched over with black ink. It stopped at the gate to the Karanese district.

 

Her body turned to Petra, and she leaned over the desk to look her in the eyes.

 

"Do you know anything about this? Hm?" A placid smile graced her face, but her voice was laced with accusation.

 

Levi interjected. "Shitty-glasses, calm down. Petra probably had nothing to-" Hanji cut him off.

 

"Wait for it!"

 

They all stared intently at Petra. In response, she first started to sweat. They leaned forward. She started to shiver. The room went quiet. She broke.

 

"Alright, alright! You got me! Please stop looking at me like that.." Petra pulled her gaze away and locked it onto her lap.

 

#####  [(A/N: Pick your poison!)](http://youtu.be/2iVYo9CinZk) [(A/N: More somewhat fitting music!)](http://youtu.be/zLdtSITIwA4)

 

Hanji pressed her for answers, perhaps imaging herself to be a lawyer questioning a witness; an officer of the law interrogating a criminal for justice. She paced around Petra's seat.

 

"Petra Ral, do you know why we are gathered here today?"

 

"Yes.."

 

"Why _are_ we gathered here today, Petra?"

 

"..[f/n] went missing."

 

"Now, explain to me something. What exactly went on, hmm.. after lunch, a week and a half ago?"

 

Light refracted off of her glasses as she bent over, leaning in reeeeaaaal close to Petra.

 

"Uh, I.. I-"

 

"Out with it!"

 

"[f/n] and I were on a trail ride.."

 

"And what exactly was said during this tail ride with [f/n] [l/n], Miss Ral?"

 

She adjusted her glasses before standing up straight and continuing to pace. Her hands were clasped behind her back. Levi rolled his eyes, and Erwin stifled a chuckle.

 

"Well.."

 

"We're waiting, Miss."

  
  


"...She told me that... she had a crush on Levi!"

 

Erwin had a smirk plastered onto his features, while Levi furrowed his brows.

 

"And how exactly did you _respond_ to this.. this assertion?"

  
  


Petra tensed up and mumbled something.

  
  


"Miss Ral, please speak up so the entire courtroom can hear you."

 

"Shitty-glasses, this isn't a-"

 

"Please, members of the audience, refrain from interrupting the case. Thank you." She grinned at Levi before turning back to Petra.

  
  


".. I told her I was dating Levi."

 

The corporal clenched his jaw, and his gaze hardened.

 

"And how did Miss [l/n] react to this?"

 

"...Sh-she ran off. Said she needed to be alone for a while."

 

"Is it true that [f/n] [l/n] started avoiding everyone after that day?"

 

"Yes.."

 

"Is it true that you, Miss Petra, were with [f/n] during breakfast one week ago?"

 

"Yes! Ugh, you know this Hanji! She was beating me up!"

 

"Inside voices please, Miss. Pardon my french, but what were the events that transpired shortly before your ass got handed to you?"

 

"I was in captain Levi's office.."

 

Hanji raised an eyebrow, while the corporal suppressed his anger.

 

"What were you doing there?"

 

"I was tidying up, like I used to do. Just trying to help out a close frien-"

 

"How did the altercation with Miss [l/n] start?"

 

"She just came in and punched me in the fac-"

 

"And then what?"

 

"She pulled me out of his office by my hair then beat me up more!"

 

Hanji got close to her again, squinting at her. She saw through the lie.

 

"So you're telling me that [f/n] was laying a smack-down on you from the time she got to Levi's office to the time it took us to get to you guys? And you only have wounds from three or four hits?"

 

"Ye- Maybe..?"

 

"What words were exchanged, Miss Ral?"

 

Petra mumbled.

 

"So the court can hear, please."

 

"I told her that she couldn't last a day outside the walls." Her head was now held by her hands; the magnitude of the situation started to sink in.

 

"How did Miss [l/n] respond?"

 

"She said she could. I told her to prove it. She said she would. I-I didn't mean any of it though, honest.. This got out of control.."

 

Hanji stood up straight and locked eyes with Levi. A look that screamed, 'I told you so' was plastered onto her features.

 

Erwin's voice cut through the intensity in the room.

 

"Hanji and Levi, you two are dismissed. Petra, you stay. We need to have a talk." They left.

  
  


As Levi exited, his resolve was strengthened. He was headed towards the stables.

  
  


\-----

  
  


You stirred, rousing yourself awake. Instead of an inn, you stayed at a stable for the rest of the day. [h/n] was your pillow, and your cloak saved you from the scratchy hay bed in the stall.

 

It was late. The stables were empty, save for a cat licking it's fur. You rose, grabbed your things and started prepping for your trek to the outermost gate.

  
  


When you arrived there, you were greeted with a bunch of drunken soldiers around a trash-can fire. They seemed pretty wasted, so they were perfect for the job.

 

"Ecuuuse meee~" You cooed, dismounting the paint mare and walking her over to them. Your hips swayed, attracting their attention.

 

"Well Hell-o, misses." One of them, the one that spoke, stood up.

 

"Would you be willing to open the gate for me, please?" You pursed your lips, poking them out to make a cute little pleading face.

 

"Are you CRAZY? Why the hell would we-" Next to speak was one still on the ground. He was cut off by the standing guy.

 

"Wait, Chris, let's hear her out."

 

You thought fast.

 

"Um.. Well, you see.. My family's home is out there, and in the rush a few weeks ago, we forgot one of our pets.."

 

They didn't seem persuaded.

 

"..and our expensive family heirlooms."

 

They seemed slightly more persuaded. You didn't want to have to do this, but you had no choice.

 

"And I'll make it worth your while.."

 

The cloak that covered you slipped off when you unclasped it, revealing your scantily clad ebony figure. You weren't wearing your shirt, only your jacket and bra. The shorts, you had them pulled down a bit, rolled them up.

 

They looked very persuaded. Their eyes were practically popping out of their sockets, jaws were dropped, erections made apparent. You had them right where you wanted them.

 

"S-sure thing, missus.."

 

The tall, brutish one started moving toward you. He unzipped his pants.

 

"Me first.."

 

"No touching. Just watching. I'm a stripper, not a prostitute."

 

"Ugh.. fine." He seemed pretty disappointed.

 

Still, you danced for them. Who knew that it would come in handy for you? You certainly didn't.

  
  


When you finished up, you put your clothes back on. They wiped off their now-sticky hands. You mounted your horse. They opened the gate.

 

'This is it. No looking back. Time to prove my worth. I will survive.'

 

You shut your eyes and galloped into titan territory.

 

You were finally **free**.

  
  



	8. Chapter 8

The setting was pretty erie. Abandoned buildings dotted the horizons, with stagnant or slow moving titans between. Sunrise's glow was threatening to wake them, so you opted to get some practice in before the real show started. You found yourself a patch of trees and dismounted to attach your gear.

 

'Why am I so nervous? Everything is going to be fine. I trained for this. I planned for this. I got this.'

 

Not far from your position stood a fifteen meter titan and several five meter ones. Those would be your first targets. The fifteen meter was still somewhat active when you rode over to it. Without thinking it through, you launched yourself at it, quickly scaling the large brute. It wasn't fast enough to yank you out of the air. You quickly sliced it's nape and clung to its shoulder as it fell to the ground.

 

'Not too bad.. Not bad at all. Kind of fun, actually. Solo kills: 2.'

 

You began to hum and sing random little tunes as you dispatched the group of five meters. It was a little bit of a workout, but not too much. Solo kills: 5.

 

'I was trained by Humanity's Strongest..' Your blades were wiped on your cloak. A sigh escaped your lips. Levi crossed your mind again; you picked up the habit from him. 'I wonder how upset he is with me. Maybe Hanji told him what happened..' Your body went on auto pilot as you were absorbed by your thoughts.

 

'Maybe I wasn't meant to be happy or something. Some sort of curse. I remember accidentally breaking a mirror before.. Does having a crush qualify as having a curse?' You hadn't taken notice of the rising sun, or the direction you were traveling.

 

'I'm such a wreck it's kind of ridiculous. This is one of those times I wish I could go back to being a stripper. Free meals just for shakin' what my mama gave me. So much easier than this load of bullshit. Why do I do this to myself? Look at me, I'm [f/n] and I'm completely incapable of making anything go right on my own! How are you?' You scoffed.

 

'Though I can't feel too bad about it. Petra had it coming, lying to me like that. You don't just do that to someone like me. Break my trust and I'll break your face. Who knows what she was thinking? Who knows what I was thinking? Whatever, doesn't matter now. I'm a terrible person, oh well. What am I gonna do about it? Nothing, that's what. Nothing can be done.'

 

The sound of heavy footfalls shook you from your trance. It was now just after sunrise, and you'd ridden into uncharted territory, right through the path of a ten meter titan.

 

"Holy SHIT!"

 

It brought it's foot down, just barely missing you. Thanks to your exclamation, it realized you were there. When you made a beeline out of there, it pursued.

 

On impulse, you turned right around and galloped right at him. In an act of extremely quick thinking, you shot your cables at it's groin while unhooking your shoes from the stirrups. As your horse sped right between its legs and it ran straight over you, you locked the steel wires, causing them to pull you off your horse.

 

The titan stopped and bent over to search for you. Mid-air, you did a forward roll, squaring yourself off for the landing. It had no time to react to the boots that dug into its shoulder blades, because when you landed your blades instantly went for its nape.

 

Clouds of steam marked the location of your first challenging titan kill. Solo kills: 6

 

As you busted a running man on the decaying titan's head, more titans were awakening from their dormant status. After your little dance party, you called [h/n] over and climbed back onto her back. Several human-eaters were going to be on your tail. It was going to be a long morning.

  
  


\- - -

  
  


By late afternoon, you were exhausted. Your solo kill score nearly tripled, and what energy you had left was put into running away. You had a tendency for getting yourself into trouble.

 

At that moment, you were safely hidden within the trees of a dense forest. Hunger pains gnawed at your body, begging you to put some substance in your stomach, so you had no choice but to eat. [h/n] was grazing out in the nearby field.

 

You were certain that you weren't going to find a way back within the walls. Thanks to your impulsiveness, you'd used up 2 sets of gas canisters. Not only that, but you were so far from where you entered, you could see the resealed walls of Trost, debris and all. There was no way you could make it around the normal titans. With the frequently appearing abnormal ones, it'd be a suicide run. Well, this entire personal expedition was a suicide run technically.

 

Since you weren't one to admit defeat easily, you decided to take a chance and head back. If you survived, you'd be back by sundown. If not, then you'd at least go out fighting. Better than being a sitting duck.

 

Your horse cantered over as soon as you whistled for her. To ditch some extra baggage, you left the empty gas tanks and dulled blades. The speed would be needed.

 

While beneath the foliage's cover, you surveyed your path. You had two options. Either travel along the wall, screaming, shouting, and shooting flares in the hopes that a Garrison solider will cover you, or dash between the sparsely sprinkled patches of woodland, hoping and preying that no aberrants would show up.

 

The second option was the one chosen, because at least if you were eaten you wouldn't be making a fool of yourself.

  
  


\- - -

 

You were going to die. Not even in a cool way, like being bitten in half or snatched out of the air.

 

No, you had to be picked up at one of the most intimate time.

 

Half way to the Karanese district gate, a familiar fullness made your abdomen ache. You had to pee, and you had to go really badly. Bathroom breaks hadn't exactly crossed your mind when you planned this out.

 

Anyway, you had to make a break for the closest patch of trees. Unfortunately it wasn't as dense as you were comfortable with, but your bladder protested enough for you to dismount there. You weren't going to be there long, though.

 

As you relieved yourself on one of the trees, a blurred figure in the distance caught your attention. An abnormal titan, moving unusually fast.. in your direction.

 

"Fuck my life.. C'mon bladder, you couldn't be holding that much in. There is no way.."

 

The figure got twice as large, and soon you could feel the ground shudder with its steps. The only thing you could do was wait.

 

"C'mon.. I couldn't have that much piss.."

 

You crossed your fingers and prayed, hard. It didn't do a damn thing.

  
  


The titan soon loomed over you, and you flipped your shit. First, you tried to run away on foot, struggling to pull your shorts up. Your attempted escape failed miserably, and you were picked up by your torso. With your arms immobilized, your pants fell back down, exposing your undies.

 

Let's put this in perspective.

 

There you were, gangling in the air, pants down, about to be eaten by a nasty ass aberrant titan because you couldn't hold your pee.

 

You shut your eyes tight and waited for the titan to devour you.

  
  


It never happened.

 

Of course, the Lance Corporal had to save your butt.

 

He sliced its neck before it dismembered you, sending you back down to the ground. You pried yourself out of its fingers and dusted yourself off. Levi landed beside you shaking frame.

 

"Tch. Pull up your pants, cadet."

 

You blushed hard, quickly tugging them up to the proper spot on your hips. Part of you was grateful, but the other part was furious.

 

"What are you d-doing here?"

 

"Saving your ass."

 

"I was doing perfectly f-fine!"

 

"You were titan fodder."

 

"So what? How do you know that wasn't what I was trying to be?"

 

You mounted your horse and started trotting away- in the wrong direction. He popped up again, running ahead of you and blocking your path.

 

"What now?"

 

"Wrong direction."

 

"More like right direction."

 

"The gate is behind you."

 

"Who said I was trying to get to the gate?"

 

"We're going back whether you like it or not."

 

"..Fine.."

 

Grudgingly, you turned yourself around and took off toward the next patch of trees. He followed.

  
  



	9. Chapter 9

#####  [(A/N: Have some ](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://youtu.be/JiBg_d847YY) [fitting music)](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://youtu.be/OgcOsp1kYVk)

 

“How the  _hell_  did you even find me, anyway?!”

You and Levi were racing for the cover of trees. The sun was falling from the sky, smearing it with warm scarlet hues. As if attempting to match, the countryside painted itself in golden colors, but not without cost. Dark shadows of the former homes and foliage played with your eyes, pushing your nerves to their peak.

“Tch. Your stupid ass left a trail of titan steam. Completely obvious on the way to the Karanese district.”

A large shadow seemed to loom behind you, keeping in time with yours. Thanks to the fact that Levi had joined you, there were more chances for you both to be noticed.. and eaten. You craned your head around to look back, and happened to meet eyes with an aberrant, running on all fours. Size wise, it seemed to be fifteen meters, but you couldn’t be sure. By the looks of it, most of its movement was based on its eyesight. While it chased, it often slowed or even stopped to look down after it brushed against trees or buildings. It took most of what emotional strength you had left not to let out a fearful cry.

Normally, you would have pulled your new signature move, but both the corporal and yourself barely had enough gas. The extra set of gas canisters you had were used up on the last hoard; they were difficult to take down. (Solo Kills: 17 Assists: 3)

“Brat! Keep your eyes ahead.”

His order came with good reason. The forest you were headed for was a bit more expansive and dense than you had counted. Barring the entrance was a fairly large fallen tree, likely caused by a titan. The canopy was so dense, what sunlight was left barely filtered through. The woods were needed; perfect for concealing yourself from the titans that mobbed around the wall as you neared it.

Luckily you were prepared for it. Levi was not.

“Where the fuck are you going, cadet?”

While you were aiming to clear the log and fancy-foot your way through the forest, he was aiming to go around it.

“Where the fuck do you think I’m going? The question is, where are  _you_  going?”

“You’re crazy. We can only go around.”

“What the  _shit_?! We can go through, easy!”

“Not with the damn log in the way.”

“Can’t you jump it?!”

“No.”

You bit your lip, both surprised and frustrated. Did military horses only know how to run on flat land?  _Really?_  After scanning the horizon, you spot some fallen branches, ditches, and log piles not too far off. It was a risky, snap decision.

“Well you and your not-so-noble steed better learn fast!”

 

[h/n] heeded your cue and drifted over towards the first obstacle, a small dip in the land, the ditch. Levi was forced to follow, whether he liked it or not. And the titan didn’t dawdle behind him.

“First thing, adjust your speed and gait so you can clear the obstacle without breaking stride!”

You were forced to slow down a tad, but you didn’t care as long as you didn’t trip up your horse. He followed suit, and you both cleared the ditch easily. The next hindrance was the branches.

“Line yourself up with it, and make sure you stay over your mount’s center of balance! Lift yourself up and keep your feet parallel to the ground!”

Levi grunted in acknowledgement, analyzing your movements as [h/n] jumped the fallen tendrils of wood. Once again, your eyes snapped back to watch as he mimicked your movements, effortlessly clearing it. With great reluctance, you had to admit that hedid learn fast, as did his horse.

Spying the final hurdle before the real deal, you picked up your pace a bit. The titan was gaining; the ground had been generally flat and easy for it to cover. It would stay that way until you entered the security of the forest.

 

“Make sure you have enough power for this one! I misjudged it, so it’s a bit larger than I think you could handle! And don’t fall off, I’m not about to be saving  _your_  pasty ass!”

The pile of firewood you had to clear ended up being more of a table. A wide table. Just to add in extra danger, the sun had decided to deepen the contrast between light and dark, casting long shadows over your path. You knew you could make it, without a doubt. It was Levi you were worried about.

As you landed it, you glanced back, just in time to see Levi’s stallion jump a tad too late. Your heart skipped a beat when you watched his horses hooves clip one of the logs. Despite that, he seemed stalwart, raven hair glowing gold in the sunset and a shimmer of determination in his steel-tinted eyes. You stopped yourself before the daydream continued, and sizing up the most important jump- the fallen tree.

The biggest gamble of the ordeal wasn’t the jump itself; it would be easier than the firewood heap. No, it was the fact that you had no idea what the landing terrain was like. There could be anything- mud, water, sand. It wasn’t too much of a problem yourself, but Levi’s horse apparently didn’t know how to handle it.

 

You lined yourself with the entrance.

Roughly 60 meters stood between you and safey.

You urged your tired horse to pick up the pace as you gauged the closing distance between Levi and the carnivorous giant.

The only way you’d make the leap would be to jump flat.

“Get behind me, make a line! There’s only room for one of us to jump at a time!”

He obeyed, lining up close behind and keeping pace. You wondered if he was worried. If he was, it didn’t show too well on his features. The man could hide emotions, and hide them well.

For some reason, you couldn’t comprehend in time.

The titan behind you stopped moving. No thundering steps.

It had lunged.

Luckily it missed, landing just shy of the darker horse’s hocks.  
  
Levi was forced to break the formation, running alongside you-

**SNAP**

Large, inhuman jaws snapped shut on air as the momentum forced it through the dirt. You picked up the pace, even more shaken as it slid on it’s stomach behind you, struggling to get up.

_‘Wait! the jump-’_

 

You were taken by surprise as your horse vaulted over the log, jarring your from your stirrups.

The titan was a large enough distraction for you to fumble and forget.

It was a terrible landing; your face smashed into the back of your mare’s neck. Instinctively, you clung to her mane for dear life as she sped into the woods.

Levi’s jump wasn’t as much of a disappointment. Much to your chagrin and his amusement, you were the one who would need to be saved. Or, patched up at least.  
  


**\-----**

  
When you got deep enough in the woods, you slowed to a stop. Blood was dripping from one of your nostrils due to the hit, leaving trails of crimson over your [lipstick color] coated lips. The ride had taken its toll on your body; every breath you took burned like you’d just swallowed acid and every move you made ached like you’d never experienced before. Between dismounting [h/n] and attempting to keep your balance, you couldn’t choose which one left you in more agony.

You made your way through a swarm of mosquitos to rest against a tree. The tiny vampire bugs started nipping at all of your bare spots, leaving you with pinches of pain occasionally. Their buzzes and bites were muted by a very upset and hungry titan stomping its way around the patch of trees. Why was everything out here trying to eat you? You closed your eyes and contemplated, allowing yourself to slump completely against the tree.

Levi must have spotted your gray-smeared horse in the woods, because you heard hoofbeats slow from a canter to a trot and a trot to a walk. He got off his mount as well.

_‘How charming..’_

“There’s a reason we wear uniforms that cover everything up.”

The fluttering of cloth- his cloak- graced your ears; he must have motioned to your bare midriff and thighs. They were being ravaged by bugs, you could feel it. Though, the feeling of being eaten by the tiny demons ebbed as the cloth sound strengthened. Was he fanning the mosquitos away?

“Then tell me, what’s the reason you haven’t punished me for it again? Couldn’t think of a large enough number of laps?”

A moment or so passed before he responded.

“Tch.”

He wasn’t about to admit that he’d gotten an erection while watching you run. His personality was abrasive and often times vulgar, but that was just too vulgar and embarrassing for him to announce. An instant smudge to his reputation.

Your mind went other places. Part of you had a hunch. The real reason  _must_  be much more brutal, and you needed confirmation.

“There aren’t any female uniforms that fit my bust or hips, are there?”

“...You’re slightly more sharp than I thought you were.”

Almost a compliment. Almost. You’d take what you could get from Levi, especially after this debacle… if you even got out alive.

_‘That’s it.. We’re going to die. The Garrison soldiers will be leaving their posts when the sun sets completely. We won’t be able to get in if we made it. We’re going to die. Humanity’s greatest asset is going to be lost and it’s all because of me. We are going to die and it is all. My. Fault.’_

As everything started to sink in, the weight of the world started to push down on your shoulders. That weight combined with your sheer exhaustion forced you to slide down the tree. You were a slumping heap on the forest floor, your sweaty, bloody face in the palms of your shaking hands. The tree which you were leaning on, an oak, stood tall and strong and proud: powerful. It overpowered the small, beaten, drained figure beneath it. It overpowered you.

“Don’t get comfortable. We have to leave soon.”

“The horses are worn out. I’m worn out. We won’t be able to make it before the Garrison soldiers leave their posts. They won’t be able to open the gate for us. Even if we did make it to the wall, which we probably won’t, we wouldn't be able to get back inside. Did I mention that horses get slow when they’re tired and hungry? Did you know that it also happens to hu-”  
  


Your sentence was cut off by a kick to the face.

When your eyes snapped open you saw Levi, balanced perfectly, one foot hanging in the air; he was prepared to kick you again.

“What the  _hell_?”

“Quit crying. Being eaten hurts more.”

You failed to notice the streams of tears originating from your eyes, and when you did, you wiped them with the backs of your hands.

“I’m not crying. It’s sweat.”

His hips moved; he’d shifted his weight.

Preparing for another kick, you shielded your face with your arm.

The sharp cracking sound of his boots landing beside your face echoed throughout the woods. It almost muffled the sound of the hungry titan. The one shuffling around at skirts of the woods. Given that you weren’t exactly keen on being eaten by it specifically, you decided to cave.

“I’m.. I’m not leaving until I get something to eat first. Theres food in my satchel.”

He turned to your horse, retrieving some bread and a flask of water from your saddlebag. The bread was tossed into your lap, the flask at your feet.

“Hurry up.”

You wiped away the few tears- sweat- left on your face and blood dripping from your nose before starting to eat. The meal was wolfed down rather quickly, but you had the time to mutter a few obscenities about Levi between bites. Whenever he heard your insults, which was rather frequent, he would attempt to strike you with his foot. You’d dodge. Sometimes he faked it, sometimes he went through with it. He was keeping you on your toes.

This continued until you held the last bits of bread and water in your hands. You had stopped yourself from eating them. What about Levi?

Of course the man looked okay. He always looked the same- dark, mysterious, handsome in a peculiar sort of way. Also, short. But was he hungry? There was only one way to find out.

You pushed past your apprehension and held up the bread and water to him. He took it, and turned to put it back in your bag.

“No, dude. It’s for you. Fucking- just eat it.”

He raised a brow.

“I don’t want it or need it. It’s disgusting.”

“You’re just a bona fide gentleman, aren’t you? Look, Sir Stomp-a-lot, I’m struggling to be nice to you right now. You better appreciate the fact that I could have eaten that, like I  _wanted_  to, but instead I gave it to-”

“Fine.”

Levi walked over to you, turned, and leaned on the tree. You watched as he nibbled on your bread and took ginger sips from your canteen. After consuming about half, he went and fed the rest to your horse.

“Dolt, do you want bugs to fly in your mouth? Get on your damn horse.”

You hadn’t noticed your mouth had opened slightly, surprised at his actions. Well, not surprised but rather  _impressed_.

Sadly, you didn’t have the time to mull it over.

A thunderous crash made you jump up from your seat.

#####  [(A/N: Have some ](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://youtu.be/JiBg_d847YY) [fitting music)](http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://youtu.be/OgcOsp1kYVk)

The face of the big-eyed flesh-hungry titan was peeking through the foliage not too far away. It locked eyes with you.

You were frozen in horror until a cold, familiar voice cut through the intensity in the air.

“Let’s  _go_.”

He didn’t have to tell you twice. You clambered onto your mare and sped off- away from the giant face sticking through the trees. As you fled, Levi followed, and it watched before pulling its face from the trees.

It was a shaky start. You weren’t prepared for there to be so many normandy banks, drop jumps, and corners. The density of the woods made you both slow considerably, but given that you had to coach Levi as you went, it was a blessing.

However, if you factored in the irate abnormal smashing its face through the trees in an attempt to pinpoint its hors d'oeuvres location, it was the worst possible thing.

The titans face smashed down a few meters away.

You barely made it over the bank of dirt ahead of you.

Judging the distance between yourself and the next obstacle became steadily harder; visibility was lowering fast.

“We’ve got to leave the forest. Find the quickest way out of here.”

“But the titan-”

“We’re going to be eaten alive regardless if we don’t make it to the wall. Find us a way out.”

Thus, you began the slow process of making your way through the thick brush and foliage.

The aberrant pulled its face from the trees and replaced it with one of its hands. With every hole it made in the canopy, he moved closer to your position.

With one final jump over a gnarled old bush, you made it out of the forest and bolted.

Levi took the lead; his horse outpaced yours on flat lands. The titan was an uncomfortably close third. Everyone was heading for the wall.

 

Wall Rose was agonizingly far away when [h/n] started to lag. The titan, now titan hoard, that had been following was still going strong, and they seemed to clamour when they saw you get closer.

You couldn’t help but choke on a sob. It was going to happen. This was it. You were going to be eaten, Levi would make it to the wall, and everyone would remember you as a crazy asshat.

Your painted horse slowed, going from a gallop to a canter.

Hopefully, he wouldn’t notice you were falling behind. You didn’t want to bother him with saving your useless self. Still, part of you wanted to live, not go out like an easy snack.

[h/n]’s gait slowed further, from canter to trot.

No. You were going to die, but it won’t be from being too slow. You were going to go out like a hero. You were going to save Levi in the process.

Tears streamed down your cheeks as your gaze hardened with resolve. Tugging on the reins, you slowed and pulled a U-turn, and charged fast at the hoard of titans blotting out the sunset. The hoard was going down, or at least you were going to try it.

 

Neither you nor Levi could see the hoard of Garrison soldiers forming on the wall, watching the intense situation unfold.

 

Levi turned and looked back, just in time to see you gallop into danger. He let out an annoyed “Tch.” and turned to go after you, a little too late.

By that time, you had already latched your grappling hooks into the flesh of the tallest titan. You’d been pulled up, and swung around to dig your blades into the nasty creatures neck. It wasn’t as deep of a cut as you would have liked, but it did the trick just fine.

Before the lifeless body could make it to the ground, the next titan struck, reaching its hand out in an attempt to grab you.

You dodged, barely avoiding it. In the process, you flung yourself off the dead titan, launching yourself at your next target. Gas was being used up like oxygen. There was no other way; you had to be fast.

Titans two and three were dispatched promptly. It was when you attacked titan four things went terribly wrong.

The angle you were coming at was dangerous and difficult. You had planned to swing around to get a good grip on its back, then jump up and slice.

That didn’t happen.

What did happen, was you getting your cable tugged, sending your body spiraling six meters to the ground below. After sliding about 3 meters along the ground, you tried to get back up.

You weren’t quick enough.

A large hand plucked you from the ground.

You locked eyes with the grotesque creature as brought you up to its face and opened its mouth.

_‘This is it, [f/n]...’_

You shut your eyes and waited.

  
  


It was pretty windy. Why was it so hot? Steam?

When you felt yourself being pried from the hand’s grasp and carried away, you opened your eyes.

There was the beast, dead, falling to the ground. But, you saw it through fluttering, sable, neatly-cut locks of hair: Levi’s hair.

He had saved you.

 

_**Again.** _

 

He landed safely and mounted his stallion, pulling you on behind him. Your grip on him tightened; he took off at lightning speed. Another set of hoofbeats told you that your horse wasn’t far behind, and thundering steps told you that the entire titan hoard wasn’t gone, either.

That didn’t matter though. You didn’t die. You didn’t save anyone. You were just a hinderance.

And as Levi shot a signal flare to get the gate opened, the only thing you could do was sob into the back of his cloak, crying angry tears.


	10. Chapter 10

You woke in an almost completely unfamiliar room. Everything was new to you, save for the scent. An intoxicating, clean cut smell, mixed with the faint aroma of cologne. No, not faint; it was getting closer.  
  
As much as you willed your eyes to open, they wouldn't, not just yet. You let out a muffled groan and stretched out. Two cushy walls and an astronomical amount of pain stopped your arms and legs from extending completely.   
  
 _'What am I on? A couch? Why does everything hurt so bad?'_  
  
Instead of satisfying your appetite for information, you rolled around for a bit, trying to get comfortable. You felt the warm cover you had slip off, and your body was greeted with a cold breeze. A headache wracked your brain and you just wanted to sink back into that comfortable darkness a little longer.   
  
You shuffled around a bit, finally finding the right position. A whimper escaped your throat as you rubbed one of your temples, trying to quell your strengthening headache. A few memories of the day prior filtered into your head: sneaking out, the trip to the Karanese district..  
  
Finally your tired [e/c] orbs decided to work with you. It was so bright that you could only squint, but as your vision cleared you could make out the figure blocking your view.  
  
That nice fragrance, it was Levi. He looked sort of concerned. Though, as soon as your eyes opened completely, he wiped the troubled look off of his face and replaced it with a stern one.   
  
"Do you have  _any_  idea what you put me through?"  
  
The question shocked you, but not more than the flood of memories in your head. This part was always the worst. Though, you couldn't help but wonder; why did he feel so obligated to help you?  
  
"Cade- no, [f/n]. Answer."  
  
"N-no." Your voice was raspy and low, just as tired as your eyes.  
  
"Tch. There are clothes on the counter in the bathroom. Your things are there as well. Get dressed; we're going to the Commanders office."  
  
 _'Dressed? Aren't I already-'_  You looked down. The only things you had on were your bra and panties... and some bandages.  
  
Rather than making a scene, you simply tossed on your new clothes, pulled back your nappy [h/c] curls and followed the man.  
  
  


**\-----**

  
  
"I'm sure you realize you're in trouble, [f/n]."  
  
You nodded. Erwin was sitting at his desk, and you were sitting in a seat across from him, as was Levi. Hanji was standing at the back of the room, for no reason known to any of you. The room itself was decorated with maps, diagrams, and books. They all looked like they've been used heavily.  
  
"I am not here to give you a lecture. That job belongs to your squad's captain. I am only here to make you aware of the facts."  
  
To ease your anxiety, you let your gaze drop to your lap. The clothes you put on had fit you perfectly, and they were standard length. How did that happen?  
  
"I know the cause to your.. personal excursion. Petra will be patching that up with you later. But do you realize the consequences to it? If the higher ups caught wind of this.. the entire legion could be in the hot seat. This could have placed the next expedition in jeopardy. Thankfully, Levi volunteered to get you back from your suicide mission."  
  
Either the seat was trying to eat you or you sank back a little further.   
  
"How many titans did you kill out there, [f/n]?"  
  
The response was muffled and soft. "..Uh.. Twenty solos, three assists?"  
  
All the eyes in the room quickly locked on you, and everything went silent. Everyone was holding their breath. Well, everyone except Hanji. You heard her whisper, "Atta girl!"  
  
"Is.. Is that bad?"  
  
Hanji answered your question, which was aimed at Erwin, but there was nothing you could do to stop her.   
  
"Bad? Cocoa puff, that's  _amazing_! That's around half of Shorty's scor-"  
  
"Hanji." Erwin cleared his throat.  
  
"Sorry, sorry!" She must have said a bit too much.  
  
"Anyway, since it seems you've done enough on your careless killing spree, you will not be going on next week's expedition. Instead, you will stay here and take care of the basic chores that need to be done daily.   
Not only that, but you will also be shadowing Levi. You are to follow him; watch how he handles himself. Maybe you'll learn a thing or two. Hanji, if you need assistance with your experiments, you have permission to take [f/n] for as long as Levi allows.  
If you haven't noticed, you'll be rooming with Levi, because you can't be trusted to live on your own without sneaking out. Levi, do you have anything to add?"  
  
The dark-haired man seemed tense, the same tense you felt on the horse ride a while back. His jaw clenched, his legs crossed, his lips pursed in a thin line; silent.  
  
"Nothing? Dismissed."  
  
You got up and followed Levi out the door. It was going to be a very long week.  
  
  


**\-----**

  
  


Levi was sitting in his office doing what he does the most; paperwork and planning. His handwriting  _was_  pretty neat. You were there, sitting on the windowsill, balls deep in a book. Every now and then you'd find yourself drifting away from your story to look at the man. You didn't notice it, but occasionally he'd pull himself from his work to glance at you.

The tranquility in the room was scared away when Hanji slammed open the door. You were both startled, but you happened to jump.

"Shooorrrttyyyyy!"

"Oi, Shitty glasses." He pinched the bridge of his nose before placing his pen on his desk.

"Message from Erwin~"

"What is it?"

"Meeting in four days with the higher ups. Be there, formal clothing, in the courtyard, 6 PM sharp. Ta-ta~"

"Wait-"

**SLAM**

She left as loudly as she entered. You bit your lip and stared at the tense captain.

"What is it?" He didn't turn to look at you, only looked out of the corner of his eye.

"Levi, is the mee-"

"Sir. Call me sir."

"Hm,  _sir short-stuff_. So is this meeting about little old me?" His eyebrows furrowed in response: A reaction! You relished it.

"To be honest, I don't know. If word got out about your little trip, than yes. Congratulations."

"For?"

"I'd find getting the higher ranks upset enough to hold a meeting just about you a  _big_  feat." His words were heavy with sarcasm.

"Go fuck a duck,  _sir_." You pursed your lips and turned to look outside.

"I wouldn't be saying that if I were you. I saved your ass  _twice_ , remember?"

"I didn't  _need_  to be saved; didn't  _want_  to be either. I was absolutely fine."

"You almost got eaten  _twice_."

"And I would have saved myself  _twice_."

"You're acting like a brat."

"If acting is a brat means being independent, then fine. I'll take it."

"You're not being independent, you're being  _stupid_."

"Oh, really?" You slammed your book closed. "What makes you think that?"

"The fact that you risked your life to prove something pointless."

"It wasn't pointless to me, though."

"It was still idiotic."

"Ugh, fine." You got up and placed your book on the place where you sat. "I don't give a rats ass about what you have to say anymore. I'm out." 

His voice stopped you before you made it to the door.

"[l/n], I didn't dismiss you."

"Hanji needs m-"

"No she doesn't, and if she does I won't dismiss you. Back to your seat."

"Fuck you heichou."

"Not before you get a handle on your emotions and some discipline."

You pouted on the windowsill and went back to reading. Maybe you should reevaluate your feelings for this guy.

  
  


  
**\-----  
**

Cleaning. 

All you did was clean.

Well, not  _all_ , but  _most_. The hours spent caring for your horse? Cut. The time spent meandering around the woods? Cut. Hell, the time spent rolling around in bed during breakfast? Cut completely. It was only the third day and you already wanted to go back to living in the stables; Levi was way too easy to cross.

The only free time you had is when you were reading your books or when Hanji remembered to save you. This was one of those times.

She brought you to what she called the break room. Only, it wasn't a break room, but a repurposed extra bedroom. A mattress turned into a second couch, placed next to the table which was really a flipped over bed frame with a sheet of wood on top of it. There were tons of additional, unneeded supplies scattered about. Picture books lined the shelves, buckets of paint were stacked in a corner, a stack of extra paper was on the desk beside the opened window, along with some old pens, pencils, and ink wells. 

Right now, you were sitting on the mattress with her, sharing a pot of "borrowed" tea and munching on some "borrowed" cinnamon rolls as you were reading one of your favorite fairy tales: Beauty and the Beast.

"OOooh! [f/n]! I had a marvelous idea!" She was bouncing with excitement, and by the look in her eyes she planned something devious.

You had no choice but to sit there and listen... Or half-listen, since you were nearing your favorite part.

"I've set you up on a blind date! It'll be perfect!"

"Hmm.. Okay Hanji.." It went in through one ear and out the other.

"So.. You're okay with that?" She didn't expect you to be so accepting to the plan.

"Mmmh.. Whatever honey.." Your nose was stuck so far into that book that you could barely take another bite of your cinnamon roll.

"Yes! Yes yes yes! I'll have to take you to the market and get you a dress. OOooh, and I could get Krista to do your hair and Mikasa to do your makeup!" She clapped her hands together, a wily smile spreading across her features. 

"Dress? Makeup? Why would we ever need that..?" Hanji piqued your interest, causing you to glance away from your book with a raised brow.

"For the blind date, silly!"

"Wha..WHAT?! Hanji, no, I can't! Noooo nononono.." You closed your book and started to get up. "I don't  _need_  any man, so I don't  _need_  any blind date. I don't really  _want_  one, either."

"Wait, [f/n], pleeaaaasssee! You won't be disappointed!"

"No, Hanji. I don't want to." Along with your cup of tea, you finished your cinnamon roll and stood up. You carefully picked up your book and went to the bookshelf to put it back.

"[f/n], you're a terrible liar. I know you want to. Why else would you have your nose in all those  _cheesy_  romantic books?" She was playing dirty now.

The hand that was holding the book tensed, and your gaze dropped instantly. Unconsciously, you ran a finger down the spine of it. The golden lettering had faded considerably, but the letters were inset in the leather, preserved. 

"..They're not that cheesy.."

"I've read them, they're pretty cheesy. Don't tell me you wouldn't like a night to feel like  _Belle_."

"Mm.. I won't tell you then. It'll never happen anyway. Someone like me does not end up like a pretty white girl in a storybook." Between Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty is where you gingerly slid your book, making sure not to get the binding caught on the shelf. A melancholy sigh escaped your lips.

"We'll see. Get your next paycheck and gather your money. Tomorrow we're going dress sho-"

"No, Hanji. I'm not doing it. Nope. There is no way."

"What's the big deal, Cocoa puff?"

You were going to have to tell her. Might as well, she doesn't give out secrets too often.. The mattress welcomed you as your returned to your seat and poured yourself another cup of tea.

"Look, Hanji.. Remember how I just suddenly popped up after Trost?"

"Yeess?"

"Yeah, well. I was a stripper for most of my life. I never learned to read or write, and I haven't really had friends until I got here.. People.. Things like me don't get nights like that. All I've ever managed to do is mess things up so far.."

"[f/n], I already knew that! You worry too much. Besides, you sure put Petra in her place! You should've seen the look on her face when Eyebrows gave her the what-for! Priceless!" She slapped your back hard; when you winced her hand rubbed in a circular motion as if to apologize.

"That wasn't a good thing.." You weren't about to question how she got her information; you didn't exactly want to know.

"And the blind date will be. Time for you to quit moping around and get your gait back! Remember, get that paycheck!"

She smacked your ass, got up, and left you to deal with the "borrowed" goodies, or what was left of them at least.

 

 


End file.
